


Juvenile

by SmokeMonsterSyd



Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: F/F, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-08 00:27:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 26,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15231360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmokeMonsterSyd/pseuds/SmokeMonsterSyd
Summary: "Research indicates that even the most docile human is capable of murder in the right set of circumstances."An AU in which Maura and Jane meet in prison.





	1. Chapter 1

The clang of the prison door as it closes is almost unbearable. The significance of the sound and its relation to her freedom is as obvious as the hair on her head. She’s officially trapped.

The low yellow lighting over head make the walls of the prison seem even dingier than they actually are, which isn’t saying much, considering. Maura felt like she could see and name every single bacteria that lived among the peeling pieces of paint. She tried not to think about it.

 

Two prison guards flanked her on either side, their rough hands holding her biceps tighter than need be, practically dragging her down the hallway. Maura couldn’t help but think how pointless it was. She had already gotten this far without a fight, why would she try something now? She kept her hands close to her stomach and as still as possible to keep the rattle of the handcuffs from assaulting her sensitive ears. Cuts on her skin, fine, she could deal with that. But the sound of metal on metal? Unbearable.

 

Nothing seems to be real, almost as if she’s floating through a dream and any minute her morning alarm will wake her from her sleep. The walk down the hall is the same as all the others. Her walk through the alley, her walk through the courtroom, her last walk through her house, they all were just surreal. Time slows down, she drifts along a corridor, and eventually reaches a destination. To say that this walk was any different than the others would be asinine. But it was different. It was. This walk officially lead to the rest of her life.

 

The guards push her into a room. Another somewhat dingy, white room, bare except for a table. On the table lay the only things she was allowed to own for the rest of her days.

 

“Take off your clothes.”

 

The prison guard on her right closes the door and guides her towards the back wall. For the first time, Maura gets a good look at them, only to realize that it is a woman. Her features are very masculine, from her chest to her largely muscular arms. _Interesting_.

 

Reluctantly, she flips her hair over her shoulder and starts unbuttoning her blouse, turning her face away from her keeper. If she wasn’t so numb to her current situation, she would be embarrassed to be changing in front of this stranger, but something in her mind tells her to just follow her instructions. Modesty be damned.

 

Each article of clothing is taken from her as it is removed, and placed into one of the many bags laid out on the table. Once her body is completely bared to the prison guard, she attempts to reach for one of the orange jumpsuits folded on the table, but the guard makes a noise in the back of her throat.

 

“Turn around, put your hands on the wall, and spread your legs.”

 

She looks down at her bare feet and nods to herself. _Of course, should have known_ , she thinks, just before following the instructions.  

 

The pat down is unnecessary, Maura knows it, the guard knows it, but it happens anyway. She brushes her gloved hands all over her skin, feeling everything, the latex occasionally snagging on her dry skin, making Maura cringe. Just as she thinks the groping session is over, she receives another direction.

 

“Squat down.”

 

Her eyebrows knit together in confusion before following instructions, her knees brushing against the cinderblock almost painfully. Once she’s in position, she holds her head in her hands, suddenly feeling very tired. She almost cries out when she feels hands on her butt.

 

“Cough.”

 

She does so. The hands blissfully leave her skin.

 

“Stand up.”

 

She does so, folding her arms across her chest, embarrassment starting to set in. Here she was, only knowing this person for 20 minutes or so, and already she had gotten farther than most of her significant others ever had. She felt violated, and all she could think about was covering herself up as she continued to stare blankly at the wall, and awaited her next direction.

 

“Turn around.”

 

The guard handed her new sets of underwear and one of the orange jumpsuits, and without further instruction, Maura pulled them on over her pale skin. She ignored the scratchiness of the material, and tried not to think about how another woman had probably used this same pair of underwear before her. _Any clothes_ , she thought, _are good clothes right now_.

 

Once she was finished dressing, the guard handed her the other jumpsuit and a few additional items before taking her by the arm again and leading her out of the room. The guard was speaking, but Maura couldn’t understand a word she was saying, as if she were underwater. She let her feet take over, not thinking, and she didn’t even realize that the guard had released her hold on her arm. She continued walking, only to almost bump into another woman.

 

“Watch it, slut,” she growled, flipping her hair over her shoulder and walking away.

 

Maura just stared after her, slightly shocked, before her escort pulled her back on track. They turned and walked down another corridor before finally walking into a large, beige room, separated into different sections by cinder block barriers. Each section had two bunk beds and two cabinets for storage. The entire room was blissfully empty.

 

The guard stopped in front of one of the sections, causing Maura to bump into her slightly, which got her the stink eye in response before the guard spoke again.

 

“This is you.”

 

“Thanks,” she responded, almost as a whisper.

 

“Whatever.”

 

And suddenly she was alone.


	2. Chapter 2

She hadn’t realized she had even fallen asleep until the loud buzzer woke her up. Her mind was fuzzy, reminding her of all the time she had woken from her mid afternoon naps after high school, as if nothing were different. But of course everything was different. This wasn’t her bedroom, and she wasn’t alone. Despite the walls being a dinge-y, off-white color, the room was too bright with sunlight, as if the prison was trying to make sure the inmates knew the outside world still existed. 

 

_ I know better than that _ , Maura thought to herself,  _ They just want to make sure our serotonin levels are high so we don’t fight each other all the time, and the easiest and cheapest way is through the vitamin D in sunlight _ . 

 

_ God, shut up, you’re in jail and you’re still spewing facts, as if that’s gonna help you _ , she reprimanded herself immediately. 

 

“Get moving, inmates, or no dinner!” yelled a faceless guard somewhere in the distance. 

 

Maura watch the small wave of women start to move up and out of the large room, speaking to each other, taking their time following orders. Some of them were laughing, moving their hands animatedly as they spoke to their friends. Some turned their heads and sneered when they walked past her cubicle, others looked at her up and down like she was a piece of meat, and she guessed that, in a way, she was, but that doesn’t mean she was going to like it. However, most of them ignored her.

 

She couldn’t help but notice that every woman seemed different than the next, all of a different shape and size. One woman who walked past her looked to be about 7 feet tall, but that wasn’t a hard mistake to make considering Maura was only 5’2’’. Practically everyone looked like a giant from where she stood. At 17, Maura was one of the shortest girls in her class, as she had been for most of her life. Apparently, things wouldn’t be any different here, except now she was the youngest. After watching the sea of orange women walk past her and out the door, Maura followed reluctantly behind, staring down at their identical shoes and watching as they turned corner after corner before finally filing into a room that looked suspiciously like her high school cafeteria. 

*********

Across the room, small, honey-blonde haired Maura Isles caught someone’s eye. Though it was obvious that she was trying to blend in, it was practically impossible. She had a face that screamed innocence, and something about her demeanor told Jane that she didn’t belong. She was new, that was obvious as well, following behind everyone else, pretending like she wasn’t playing an almost dangerous game of follow the leader. Jane chewed her food thoughtfully as she watched the girl cross the room and get in the food line. 

 

“Yo, Rizz, hello??”

 

She rolled her eyes. She hated that nickname. 

 

“What?”

 

“I said, who do you think is hotter, George Clooney or Sean Penn?”

 

Jane sighed and put her spork down on the table. “Now, why the fuck would I wanna answer that?”

 

“Um, because you always do?”

 

“Well, it’s stupid, and I’m tired of it,” she said, picking up her spork again and stabbing at her food, and mumbled, “Clooney.”

 

“Oh hands down, for sure, Clooney.”

 

“Shut up, Jackie, you only said that because Rizz did.”

 

“Nuh uh, I was gonna say that anyway!”

 

“Y’all are ridiculous,” Jane muttered, pushing her long, curly, brown hair out of her eyes.

 

Jackie and Lo were her friends, if she had to put a label on them, although the more time she spent with them, the more she wondered what she was doing. They were known around the prison as The Three Italian Js, Jane, Jackie, and Jennifer. They were all olive skinned, dark haired lovers of pasta and obviously Italian, thus the gang name. If you looked quickly, all three could have been mistaken for biological sisters. Jennifer went by Lo, because she liked to believe she was JLo, but the rest of her family didn’t think the same way and therefore only called her Lo for being “Lower than JLo”. Jackie was Jackie because Jackie. And Jane was… Rizz. Every time she heard the atrocious nickname, all she could think about was Rizzo from Grease, and Jane was nothing like her. For instance, she was in jail. Rizzo was not. The rest of the inmates thought they were in for being a part of the Italian mob and already knew each other from the outside, but that couldn’t have been farther from the truth.

 

“So, did you guys hear about the new bitch?” Jackie said, distracting Jane from her thoughts.

 

Immediately, her eyes went to the girl in line. She was the only face out of everyone there that she didn’t already recognize. Her golden hair looked to be in perfect condition, and her jumpsuit was just a bit too big for her tiny frame, the pants almost covering her shoes.

 

“Nah, who is it?” Lo replied.

 

“I ain’t seen her, but I hear she’s a child killer.”

 

At that, Jane turned to Jackie, her eyes squinting in disbelief. “What?”

 

“Yeah, Rizz, it’s true. I heard all the black girls talking about it. Apparently, they’ve been watching the news and stuff.”

 

“You’re telling me that girl, right there,” she pointed across the room at Maura, who looked to be thanking her server while the woman stared on blankly, “is a child killer?”

 

“Pfft, nothin gets past you Rizz. Holy shit, Lo, turn around, look at this bitch.”

 

Lo turned around and looked around the room before her eyes landed on Maura. Now, all three of them were staring as she made her way to one of the mostly empty tables. 

 

“Oh yeah,” Lo says, “I saw that bitch this morning.”

 

“And you didn’t tell me? Christ, no wonder she killed a kid, probably the only person she  _ can  _ kill.”

 

Jane watched as Maura gingerly sat down at the table, not even looking up as everyone seated there glared at her with daggers. She picked up her spork and started eating, pausing every couple bites to make sure her face didn’t show any signs of disgust. 

 

Jackie scoffs next to her, picking up her spork and turning her attention back to her food. 

 

“What a hypocrite.”

 

Jane kept her eye on Maura, inexplicably drawn to her, as she finished up her dinner.

  
“How old was the kid?”

 

“The black girls said he was about seven or something like that.”

 

As Jackie spoke, Maura finally lifted her head, as if she could feel Janes eyes caressing her, and their gazes met. Jane froze as Maura kept her eyes locked with hers. They were incredibly sad, but also hard, as if she were protecting herself, as if the sadness wasn’t supposed to be there. 

 

_ Of course she is, she’s in prison, we all are _ , Jane thought. 

 

Before she even knew what was happening, Jane felt the muscles between her eyebrows relax and soften, the corners of her mouth turning up slightly, in a small, friendly smile. She wasn’t sure why she felt the need to do this, besides the feeling in the back of her mind that said that girl did not belong here. 

 

To her surprise, her face softened and smiled back, her cheeks bright and round, before she bit her lip and looked back down on her food. Jane’s heart stuttered in her chest and her palms started to sweat.

 

She vowed from then on to make sure that Maura made it out of that prison alive. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for showing your interest in this story! Jane and Maura will meet in the next chapter :D


	3. Chapter 3

The last thing she expected in a women's prison was a fully stocked library, but as Maura rounded the corner, that’s what she found. Sure, there weren’t as many shelves as her school’s library, but there were plenty of options. She walked softly across the blue carpet towards the closest shelf, scanning for something interesting to read. She walked through the shelves assessing each book before stumbling upon the more educational stuff and closing her eyes in a silent prayer. There were plenty of options for her to choose from, so she picked the first medical journal she hadn’t read already and gently slid it off the shelf.

 

“You actually read those?”

 

Maura jumped at the sudden sound of the deep, raspy voice before nodding and training her eyes back on the shelves.

 

“They are quite interesting,” she mumbles.

 

“I’m really more of a mystery kind of girl,” the voice replies with a chuckle.

 

There is something about the voice that makes Maura relax, a certain vibe that is non-threatening and somehow kind. She turns her head to look at the woman, her eyes meeting long, orange clad legs before finally meeting familiar brown eyes.

 

“Mysteries are intriguing as well,” she says with a small smile.

 

The woman before her smiles back, her sharp cheekbones accentuating the soft dimples. She is tall, her long brown hair curly and wild, framing her face and making her look skinnier than she already is. There is a warmness in her eyes, but her nervousness shows in the fidgeting of her hands. Maura watches as she massages her palms with her thumbs and traces white scars on the backs of her hands, and suddenly she wonders where they came from.

 

“Do you always read stuff like that?” the woman asks.

 

Maura nods. “My parents are professors.”

 

Her eyebrows shoot up and she smiles again. “Really? I’m sure that was fun growing up with.”

 

“It wasn’t too bad,” Maura responds, softly.

 

There is a beat of silence where the two women just smile at each other, and it’s kind of awkward, but nice at the same time. Maura realizes she doesn’t feel threatened at all by this woman.

 

“I’m Jane,” she says, offering her hand.

 

Maura notices scars similar to those on the outside of her hand on the inside of her palm before taking her hand within her own.

 

“Nice to meet you, Jane, I’m Maura,” she responds, and shakes Jane’s hand.

 

Jane chuckles and gently squeezes her hand. “Are you always this formal?”

 

“Yes,” Maura says shyly, and looks back down at the floor.

 

She looks back up at Jane as she goes silent, and she notices that the taller woman seems to be analyzing her. She can see the cogs working in her mind, thinking about something, and she seems to be contemplating whether to say what’s on her mind or not. It seems like minutes go by before she speaks again.

 

“Are you some kind of Debutant or something?”

 

Maura laughs lightly. “Oh, something like that.”

 

“How does someone like you end up in here?” Jane says, with a smile.

 

The question doesn’t come off as condescending, or rude. To Maura, it sounds like a rhetorical question, and she wonders if Jane actually expects her to answer. Although Jane didn’t mean any harm by it, Maura suddenly finds herself in a melancholy mood.

 

“Just like everyone else, I suppose. I got in trouble,” she says, tucking her journal under her arm.

The smile on Jane’s face falls as guilt flashes in her eyes.

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you.”

 

Maura offers her a small smile. “It’s okay, Jane.”

 

“No, really, I shouldn’t have said that, I didn’t mean it.”

 

Maura reaches for her forearm and squeezes lightly, and Jane shuts her mouth like a bear trap.

 

“Really, it’s alright,” she says, and offers her a smile again.

 

Immediately, Jane’s face brightens, as if a smile from Maura was the best news she had gotten all week.

 

“I, uh, just wanted to say that...I saw you in the cafeteria earlier, and if you want to, you can sit with me next time,” Jane says, and it rushes out so fast, Maura wonders if she understood her correctly. “There is always room at my table.”

 

“That’s very nice of you, Jane, thank you.”

 

“Yeah, I mean, I just figured you might need a friend…” she falls silent, giving Maura a sheepish smile.

 

Maura nods as she bites the inside of her cheek. Even when life was normal, when she was in school with people her age, no one had ever offered her a seat at their table, or a chance for friendship. It was ironic, really, that Maura would meet one of the nicest people in prison.

 

“I really appreciate that, Jane,” she responds softly.

 

She feels Jane’s eyes roam over her face before meeting her gaze and shrugging slightly.

Jane clears her throat and says, “We should probably head back to our bunks, they don’t really like us roaming around after dark.”

 

Maura nods and watches as Jane turns, her hair flying out behind her before falling back down against her jumpsuit. She starts to leave, but walks slowly and Maura wonders if she has something else to say. Jane turns back around and looks at her over her shoulder, and expectant look on her face.

 

“You comin’?” she asks.

 

Maura grins and nods, briskly walking up to Jane to stand by her side.

 

“So, what’s that journal about?” Jane asks as they make their way down the hall.

 

Maura looks down to the book in her hand and reads the title again. In the excitement of the new interaction, Maura had forgotten she had even picked it up.

 

“Journal of Forensic Sciences,” she reads.

 

“Isn’t that like, cop stuff?”

 

Maura nods her head. “I would say it’s like your mystery novels, but real life.”

 

“Something tells me there is a lot less sex involved, though,” Jane jokes.

 

“Well, that’s not an incorrect statement,” Maura says with a chuckle.

 

“I’m totally kidding, by the way, I don’t read them for the sex,” she quickly responds, as if she were nervous about her previous statement.

 

“Perhaps you would enjoy this then. Do you want to borrow it?”

 

Jane quickly shakes her head. “No, you just got it, I wouldn’t want to take it from you.”

 

“How about after I’m finished with it?”

 

Maura watches as her new friend’s lips widen into a grin and feels elated. No one has ever taken her suggestion on reading material, especially things like science journals.

 

“Sure, that would be cool,” Jane says.

 

Jane starts to slow down as they reach a doorway and Maura looks up at her surroundings. She then looks back over at Jane, her face a mask of confusion, wondering why Jane has stopped.

Jane raises one eyebrow slightly as she takes in Maura’s face.

 

“Is this...not your cell block?” she asks.

 

Maura looks back at the door and sees the number above it, and memories from that morning come back to her. She smiles sheepishly at her feet on the floor.

 

“Yes, it is. I forgot…”

 

Jane lets out a small chuckle. “That’s okay, it’s only the first day, it’s understandable.”

 

Maura nods to herself, holding the science journal against her chest.

 

“Have a good night, Maura,” Jane says, smiling at her and tucking her hands into her pockets.

 

“You too, Jane.”

 

They wave at each other as Jane turns to leave and go to her own cell block. Maura let’s out a sigh, wondering how in the world she could have forgotten her own cell block number. She could remember the combination to her gym locker in middle school, but she couldn’t remember where she now lived. She shook her head, thinking of Jane and her friendly smile as she made her way to her bunk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still working on this, and I don't really have a solid update schedule. On that note, I am very pleased with the response I have gotten from this. This was just a story that came to me in the middle of my Juvenile Delinquency class and I was like "I would love to read something like that", so now it's happening. I never really planned on sharing it when I started, but I figured if I was looking for a story like this, then someone else probably was, too. Please let me know if you see any grammar mistakes, sometimes I miss them. Thanks for reading!!


	4. Chapter 4

She watches her cross the cement court and head towards the brown field beyond. The sunlight shines off her golden hair, creating an aura of softness around her body. The sky is clear and blue and it reminds her of a time long ago when she was free. Free from school, free from parents, free from siblings, just laying in a park, looking up at the clouds. From the corner of her eye, she sees other women stalk Maura and her stomach starts to churn. 

 

“Rizz, are you paying attention? It's your move.”

 

She reaches over and makes a random move without looking at the chessboard, keeping her eyes on Maura as she approaches the outer fence. She stands with her back to the jail, her hands folded in front of her, her hair falling softly down her back. 

 

“HA, I win! Go again?”

 

Jane cocks her head to the side, giving Jackie half her attention. She sees movement from the white girls’ clique and before they even move towards Maura, she knows where they are headed. 

 

“You guys go ahead.”

 

“Where you going?”

 

“I'm taking care of something.”

 

She pushes off from the picnic table and makes her way across the concrete towards the girls, picking up her normal speed from a swagger to a jog, to catch up to the women and surpass them. She just barely zooms by them, hears them make a noise of indignation, and grins to herself before shooting them a scowl over her shoulder. They glare at her, and she glares right back before making her way across the lawn towards Maura. She slows back down to her normal swagger before interrupting any thoughts Maura may have been having. 

 

“Hey, Blondie.”

 

She turns around slowly, as if she's not sure she should at all, but when she sees Jane, she smiles brightly.

 

“Hello, Jane.”

 

“You didn't bring your book?”

 

Maura sticks out her bottom lip a bit as Jane leans her shoulder against the fence. From the corner of her eye she sees the white clique staring at her, like a mob ready to lynch her. 

 

“No, I didn't want to potentially drop it in mud or something like that, since it's not my property. It's an interesting read, though, I was reading some of it before I came out here.”

 

“Really? Like what?” Jane asks, tearing her eyes away from their spies and smiling at Maura.

 

“There were some interesting studies about eyewitness testimony and how inaccurate they can be sometimes due to the instability of long term memory, or memory in general,” she rambles, then stops suddenly.

 

Jane notices the change immediately and looks around to make sure it wasn't something she saw.

 

“What's wrong?”

 

She shakes her head. “Nothing. I just...I tend to ramble sometimes and I've learned people don't really appreciate that.”

 

Jane gives her a small smile. “You don't have to stop. I liked your explanation.” 

 

Maura looks down at the ground as a blush covers her cheeks, and Jane suddenly wants to pull her into a hug.

 

“Keep going,” she encourages, gently.

 

Maura shakes her head, her hair falling in her face.

 

“I lost my train of thought,” she responds shyly.

 

Jane chuckles and, as if her hand had a mind of its own, moves a strand of Maura’s hair behind her ear. She stares up at Jane, eyes wide with shock, and Jane quickly moves her hand away from her cheek, clearing her throat. 

 

“Can I ask you something?”

 

Maura’s mouth opens a bit as if she is going to respond, but nods her head instead. 

 

“How old are you?” Jane asks, softly. 

 

Jane watches as Maura chews on her cheek, giving her time to respond. 

 

“I’m 17,” she murmurs, eventually. 

 

Jane eyes widen in shock, and she watches as Maura’s face turns from shy, to worried, to guilty.

 

“Are you serious?”

 

She nods her head in response.

 

“You’re underaged, isn't this illegal?”

 

Maura squints her eyes, and Jane can't help but think the wrinkle between her eyebrows is cute.

“Isn’t what illegal?”

 

Jane’s mouth gapes a bit. “This. You being here.”

 

“Is it?” Maura asks.

“I'm pretty sure it is, you need to be in a juvenile facility, not in a women's prison.”

 

Maura nods as if her mother were telling her she needed to do her chores.

 

“I'm serious, Maura, you're in danger here.”

 

Maura shrugs. “Well, this is where they put me, therefore, I'm stuck here.”

 

Jane is silent as she watches Maura kick lightly at the dead grass and dirt with her jail regulation sneakers. They almost seem too clunky for her petite form and out of place on her body. 

_ This is a child _ , Jane thinks, _ I need to protect her _ .

 

“Can you...contact your family or your lawyer?”

 

Maura makes a small but bitter laugh.

 

“If my parents didn't want me here, I wouldn't be here,” she says, shaking her head.

 

The way Maura responds and the way she shakes her head has Jane wondering who this girl really is. Jane finds herself weirdly drawn to her, finds that she wants to know everything about this enigmatic blonde person in front of her, and she finds herself wanting to draw it out of her. She wants to ask how she ended up here, why her parents wouldn’t want to help her out, why no one is fighting for this minor, but she thinks better of it. Maura already looks uncomfortable enough, staring through the holes in the chain link fence and out into the woods. 

 

Jane reaches out for her gently, her fingertips brushing lightly along her forearm. Jane tries not to think about how soft her skin feels.

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t come over here to make you uncomfortable…”

 

Maura turns her head to look at her again, her soft hazel eyes searching her face. She doesn’t look angry, or upset, just curious. 

 

“I just...I noticed some of the women over there eyeing you, so I felt I should... intervene…”

 

Jane watches as Maura’s face falls a bit, almost settling into a look of disappointment before it is replaced with a forced smile. Guilt washes through Jane, along with a side of regret and embarrassment.

 

“I see...thank you,” Maura says.

 

“Wait, that didn’t--”

 

“It’s okay, Jane. I understand.”

 

“No, I didn’t mean it like that!” Jane exclaims.

 

“Then, what did you mean?”

 

Jane sighs and tries to gather her thoughts a bit, avoiding Maura’s questioning gaze. 

 

“I saw that they were getting ready to come after you, and you don’t deserve to get jumped just because it’s obvious that you don’t belong here,” she says, “And I...have some uh...authority, I guess, in this place, so I figured if I made it clear you were with me they would...back off…”

 

Jane trails off when she realizes how cocky and condescending she sounds, as if all 17 year old girls would never be able to hold their own. She looks down at her shoes this time, grimacing to herself. She needs to fix this, needs to say something else to make her statement seem like more of a favor than an obligation, to express to this petite human embodiment of sunshine that she wasn’t trying to take advantage. 

 

“The first time I saw you yesterday, I knew you didn’t belong here. And then, when I talked to you in the library, you were so nice and kind, I knew for sure that I was right, and I just...wanna make sure you get out…”

 

_ Yep, Jane _ , she thinks to herself,  _ that is much better _ .

 

Jane finally looks up when she hears a small sniffle, only to be met with watery green-hazel eyes and a trembling bottom lip. 

 

“I’m sorry--”

  
“No, don’t apologize,” Maura says, wiping her eyes and looking down, “That’s the second nicest thing that anyone has ever said to me.”

 

Jane’s heart soars and she wants to pull her into a hug, but squints instead, furrowing her brow and says, “What was the first?”

 

Maura chuckles lightly in the back of her throat and bites her lip. 

 

“When you offered me a seat at your table in the cafeteria last night,” she answers.

 

Jane gives her a smile, her heart picking up speed as Maura smiles back, and she can’t help but feel like she has done something wonderful for the world by causing it. She reaches out and rubs her hand down Maura’s shoulder, comforting and wanting to keep in contact with her. 

 

“Do you like chess?” she asks. 

 

She didn’t think it could be possible, but the look on Maura’s face gets brighter as her eyes widen. She is so damn cute. 

 

“Of course!”

 

Jane chuckles and wraps an arm around her shoulders. “Come on, I have a board set up over there.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so happy with the response I am getting for this fic! I am writing it slowly with pen and paper because I work so much and I don't have internet at my job, but I promise I am still writing! The update schedule is just a bit funky, lol, stay with me!

Maura finds the presence of the other two italians to be a bit disconcerting. While Jane is more than welcoming, it seems that the other two only tolerate her because Jane wants her there. When she first joined their group for the chess game, they openly stared at her, as if their eyes could shoot lasers and incinerate her on the spot. Maura can’t help but wonder if Jane even thought about bringing her up with her little band or if she decided she didn’t care about their opinions. 

 

_ She must be their leader if they aren’t objecting to my presence _ , Maura thinks to herself. 

 

She follows them into dinner, and from the identical looks on Lo and Jackie’s faces, they were not expecting her to sit down with them at their table. Maura finds herself feeling uncomfortable, until she looks over at Jane, who only smiles at her before digging into her food, causing Maura’s heart to jump into her throat. They eat in an uncomfortable silence, but if Jane feels the tension, she doesn’t acknowledge it. Maura tries to look anywhere but at the two women glaring at her across the table, hoping to find a neutral place to stare into space as she contemplates her life and her dinner. As she sweeps her eyes around the cafeteria, she notices at least one pair of eyes from each table assessing her through narrowed eyes. She accidentally meets eyes with a big woman covered in tattoos and a sneer on her face. She snaps her head back to the food in front of her and stares at that instead, telling her hand to move the spork from the tray to her mouth. 

 

“Lo, where is your new job assignment for tomorrow?”

 

Maura almost sighs with relief as Jane finally breaks the silence at the table. 

 

“I think I’m on laundry duty. First shift.”

 

“What about you, Maura?”

 

Maura knits her eyebrows together as she reviews the words spoken to her. She goes over them a few times in her head, but they still don’t make any sense. 

 

“I’m sorry...I’m not sure what you mean,” she says, slowly.

 

Jane closes her eyes and shakes her head. “They haven’t given you a work assignment yet?”

 

Maura just shrugs. 

 

Jane gives her a small smile. “I’ll go with you after dinner to ask someone.”

 

When she feels Jane’s slightly rough fingers intertwine with her own, the only thing she can think clearly is ‘Jane is left-handed’. She finds that she is no longer hungry, and in fact feels slightly nauseous, so she puts her spork back down and stares down at her plate. She feels herself flush, and she wonders if Lo and Jackie notice.

 

“Then we can all go to movie night together,”Jane says around a mouth full of food. 

 

Jackie mutters something under her breath that Maura cannot hear, but Jane gives her a look. 

 

“You wanna say that a little louder, Jackie?”

 

Jackie glares at Jane, looks at Lo who gives her a similar look, and then looks back at Jane. Jane raises one questioning eyebrow and squeezes Maura’s hand under the table. 

 

“Why the fuck is she with us, Rizz?”

 

Jane’s immediate response tells Maura that she has been expecting this question all day and was just waiting for her friend to say something. 

 

“Because I say so.”

 

“Yeah, but Rizz, she’s a--”

 

“I don’t care,” Jane growls.

 

Jackie’s face contorts in disbelief, and Lo just looks disgusted. 

 

“How can you just not care?”

 

“Because it doesn’t matter.”

 

“But she--”

 

“Do you think you deserve to be in here?”

 

“No, but that’s completely--”

 

“How do you know?”

 

During the whole interaction, Maura stares down at the table, her temperature rising with her anger at being talked about like she’s not even there. She can feel herself start to shake and wonders if Jane feels the tremors through their conjoined hands. 

 

“Because I do! The black girls said--”

 

“I don’t give a shit what anyone said, I want her here, so she’s here, and that’s it,” Jane says.

 

“You can’t just ignore the fact that she--”

 

“You both know I’m right here, right?” Maura bursts out, and heads all around the cafeteria turn towards her. “If you want to know something, you can just ask instead of pretending like I don’t exist!”

 

“Did you kill that kid?”

 

She wasn’t expecting it, and the force of the question almost knocks her out of her seat. Her vision clouds over a bit and she sets her jaw as she presses her lips together, hoping Jackie’s words won’t trigger a flashback. But here it comes, the feel of the rain against her skin, her feet slapping against the wet pavement, her shrill voice yelling,  _ Connor! _ , blood everywhere.

 

Jane is speaking, but it sounds far off. “Maura, you don’t have to answer that.”

 

“Yes she does.”

 

“Fuck off, Jackie.”

 

And suddenly she’s back in the cafeteria, the smell of the less than nutritional food assaulting her like a slap in the face. She gasps in a breath she didn’t know she was holding, her hand ripping from Jane’s, running through her hair and finding it dry. She feels all eyes on her and her chest feels heavy, her throat closing, and she starts to wheeze slightly.

 

“Maura, sweetie, are you okay?” Jane asks.

 

Maura stands abruptly, her only thoughts of escaping before they all gang up on her.

 

“Sweetie?” Jackie scoffs.

 

“Clearly, something is wrong, Jackie,” Lo says, softly.

 

“Yeah, she fucking did it and now we all know it.”

 

Maura feels bile rising in her throat and she moves away from her seat at the table before turning and sprinting out of the room. She’s not sure where she is going, just thinking that she needs to go anywhere but there. She hears Jane call out after her, her beautiful voice mixing with the sounds of her sneakers slapping against the linoleum. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sometimes...I get too excited...and i post two chapters in one day...hope that's okay ;)

Jane finds her kneeling in the middle of an abandoned hallway staring at her hands and sobbing loudly. Jane can’t help but think that it’s one of the most painful sounds she has ever heard in her entire life. She can hear something that sounds like a word being repeated over and over between her sobs, but she cannot make out what that word is. She approaches the sobbing ball on the floor slowly, reaching out to make some sort of contact.

 

“Maura?”

 

Jane watches as she turns her head slightly at her voice, sucking in a hard breath to stop her sobs. She turns her body a bit more towards Jane, holding out her hands pitifully. 

 

“Sometimes, I can still see the blood…” her voice cracks on the last word. 

 

Jane suddenly finds herself on the verge of tears, Maura’s pain like an infectious virus. She takes one small step closer, hoping she won’t scare her off.

 

“Let me help you up, Maura,” she says, but it’s really more of a question.

 

Maura turns her head more and nods, keeping her eyes trained on the floor. Jane rubs her back a bit before gently grabbing her arms and lifting her to her feet. 

 

Maura avoids her eyes, wiping at her face roughly to get rid of her tears, which only causes her to cry harder. Before Jane can even say anything, Maura is wrapping her arms tightly around Jane’s waist and pressing her face into the crook of her neck. Though it takes her a second, Jane eagerly responds, wrapping one arm around her shoulders and tangling her other hand in her hair. 

 

“I’ve got you, Maura.”

*********

Jane takes her to the bathroom and sets her in front of the sink, and Maura looks at the brick on the wall as she tries to look at herself in a mirror that isn’t there. She feels exhausted, her eyes drooping, her body almost folding in on itself like a rag doll. Her dissociative state is almost completely gone. 

 

“Wash your hands.”

 

She hears her voice, hears her concern, but doesn’t bother to look and make sure she is there. She reaches slowly for the faucet, turning the knob and slowly pushing her hands under the water. She notices they are shaking, but the image of blood from before is gone. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Maura realizes that this scene seems familiar, washing away blood that isn’t even there, but is a result of guilt. For once, she cannot put her finger on the reason for the familiarity. 

 

“Can you tell me where you are?”

 

Maura bites the inside of her cheek and massages her palms under the water. 

 

“Prison,” she responds. 

 

Jane stays silent, so Maura turns the water off and wipes her hands on her jumpsuit just as she turns to meet her companion’s eyes. They are sharp, full of concern, searching her face for some sort of explanation for what just happened. At the same time, Maura sees some kind of understanding in those deep, beautiful brown eyes. That doesn’t stop her from feeling embarrassed, though. Embarrassed for having a breakdown, embarrassed for needing help, and embarrassed for not realizing that Jane probably knew why she was in jail all along. A few hours ago, she was sure she had a friend, but now she wasn’t quite as confident, wondering what the last straw in their short relationship would be. She looks down at her feet, avoiding Jane’s eyes as they fill unexpectedly with tears.

 

“Thank you for helping me, Jane,” she says, thickly.

 

“I’m sorry about that…” Jane says. 

 

Maura shakes her head. “Don’t be, I should have known it would come up. I was naive to think you didn’t know.”

 

“Well, I mean--”

 

“I understand if you don’t want me around you and your friends anymore.”

 

“Wait, what?”

 

She feels gentle fingers on her chin, lifting her head and forcing her to meet Janes eyes. There is something like admiration written on her face, along with concern and kindness, and Maura feels slightly confused. 

 

“Maura...I don’t care about why you’re in here. It doesn’t change the fact that I don’t think you’re supposed to be.”

 

“Jane, I--”

 

“You don’t have to explain it to me. Whether you did it or not, what I just saw in that hallway...you shouldn’t be here.”

 

Her hand slides from her chin to her cheek, cupping her gently and wiping some of her tears with her thumb. Maura can see her eyes are watering and her eyebrows are knit with concern. 

 

“Are you feeling better?” she asks.

 

Maura nods, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath.

 

The corners of Jane’s mouth turn up a bit, the concern still in her eyes, but gives Maura a small, reassuring smile. 

 

“Okay, let’s go figure out your work assignment.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting this later than I expected to today, my bad guys! Hope you enjoy :)

By the time they get to the movie room, almost all the seats are taken and Maura is exhausted from trying to speak to people who just don’t care. They had gone from security guard to security guard until finally speaking to a deputy warden who told her that they hadn’t come up with an assignment for her yet in a sort of bored sounding voice. Maura wonders how she could have possibly ended up here instead of a juvenile detention facility, but would that really be any better? She’s not so sure. 

 

She hears Jane curse under her breath as she takes a quick look around the room. Everyone is there, including Jackie and Lo who are, thankfully, in the front row and completely engrossed in the movie. 

 

“What’s wrong?” Maura whispers.

 

“There is only one chair left,” Jane responds. 

 

She knew Jane was looking forward to this movie night and suddenly she feels guilty for making her miss it. 

 

“That’s okay, you sit. I’ll just go back to my bunk.”

 

Jane shakes her head. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

 

Before she can question her, Jane is grabbing her hand and pulling her over to the last remaining seat. She watches Jane sit down and goes to sit on the floor in front of her, but Jane grabs her by the waist and pulls her down on her lap. Her breath hitches as Jane wraps her arms around her waist and places her chin on her shoulder. 

 

“Is this okay?” she whispers. 

 

Maura finds that she can’t speak and just nods her head. She places just the tips of her fingers on top of Jane’s hands, not wanting to put any more of her weight on her lean frame. She feels Jane’s chest pressing into her back as she breathes, and tingles are radiating out and through her body where Jane’s hands lay. She tries to stay still, tries not to even breathe, not wanting to disturb Jane in any way. She feels her breath against her ear, warm and smelling vaguely like peppermint. 

 

“Relax, Maur, you’re not gonna break me,” she murmurs, and pulls her just a bit closer. 

 

She’s not sure exactly how to do this. The position is comfortable, but she knows that after a few more minutes it won’t be, but she can’t bare to leave Jane’s embrace. She shifts a little bit and Jane protests softly.

 

“Where are you going?”

 

“Nowhere, I’m just adjusting.”

 

She feels Jane loosen her grip around her waist so she can turn just a bit, draping her legs over the side of the chair and laying her head on Jane’s shoulder. She can feel Jane’s smile as she wraps one arm around her waist again, and places the other along Maura’s thigh, sending tremors through her body. 

 

“Better?” 

 

“Yes, thank you.”

 

Maura seems to burrow into the space between Jane’s neck and shoulder, completely ignoring the movie for comfort instead. The feeling of Jane wrapped around her body is comforting and somewhat arousing, both feelings Maura wasn’t expecting. She had never really been a touchy person, her parents made sure of that, but something about Jane made her want to cuddle up to her and stay in this position for the rest of her life. 

 

Jane lets out a chuckle in response to something in the movie, but Maura is too wrapped up in Jane to care about it at all. She feels Jane’s fingers start to trace gentle patterns against her thigh and Maura sighs against her neck. 

 

“You okay?” Jane whispers.

 

Maura nods her head in response and feels Jane gently rub her back. 

 

With the lull of the movie, and the feeling of Jane’s hands caressing her, Maura finds herself falling asleep in Jane’s arms.

*********

The next morning Maura finds herself back at Jane’s cafeteria table, sitting across from her as she happily munches on her breakfast. Lo and Jackie are nowhere to be seen, but they don't talk about it, just continue eating like they had been doing this for years. Maura wonders how Jane can be so easy going, so happy, after losing her two friends because of Maura. Maura thinks that maybe she is doing it out of pity for her and her situation, but if that were the case, then why would Jane convince her to sit on her lap and then carry her to bed afterwards? She wasn’t awake enough to know that was happening, but how else could she have gotten tucked into her bed without realizing it? 

 

It’s another thing they haven’t talked about, and Maura wonders if she should bring it up by thanking her or just leave it alone. 

 

“I should be finishing work around 4, I think,” Jane says.

 

Maura looks up from her plate of food, not even realizing that she had been staring into it intensely. She nods her head, figuring she needed to respond somehow.

 

“Hey, are you okay?” Jane asks, her eyebrows knitted together in concern.

 

She isn’t sure how to reply. Her mind is still spinning from her flashback yesterday, thinking about how a seemingly normal day turned into another bad one and then right back to being good. What was up with her sitting on Jane’s lap, and why did it make her skin feel so sensitive but her heart so safe? Was she really okay? She wants to just smile and nod her head, say yes and leave it alone, but her heart is telling her that she needs to be honest. And honestly, she’s not entirely sure what is happening between her and Jane. 

 

“I can’t help but feel responsible for Jackie and Lo not speaking to you,” she blurts. It’s not all of the truth, but it’s the most important thing in her mind.

 

Jane looks at her for a minute, the look on her face unreadable, but not upset. She squints her eyes a bit as she looks at Maura and purses her lips. 

 

“Can I tell you a secret?”

 

Maura nods. “Of course.”

 

Jane smiles and says, “I didn’t really like them.”

 

Now it’s Maura’s turn to be confused. “Then why did you…”

 

“We sort of got lumped together because we looked similar...and then we realized we had more power together rather than alone. I really only hung around them because I didn’t have anyone else,” she shrugs, “but they were judgemental and rude sometimes and I was tired of being around them.”

 

“Why didn’t you find other people to talk to?”

 

“I did,” she says, smiling, “I found you.”

 

Maura isn’t sure how to respond. She never really thought of herself as a good friend, considering she never had any, but Jane’s words make her chest ache. She’s not sure whether to scoff or cry, but Jane continues before she can even respond. 

 

“Plus, I couldn’t really talk to anyone else because this place is run by cliques, and if you don’t look a certain way, they won’t let you in. For instance, I can’t talk to the white girls because I’m not white enough, and I can’t talk to the black girls because I’m not black. I could potentially pass as Latina, but I don’t speak any Spanish. It’s really just better to be alone,” she says, and her voice starts to fade on her last few words, but she looks up at Maura and finishes by saying, “but, I’m glad I met you.”

 

Maura can’t stand the intensity in her eyes and she can feel herself blushing. She looks down at the table again, hiding her smile as she avoids her gaze.

 

“I’ve never had any friends,” she says quietly, and as soon as the statement is out of her mouth, she hopes Jane didn’t hear it. 

 

Instead, she hears Jane scoff before saying, “I don’t believe that.”

 

“Well, it’s true.”

 

“Come on, you can’t look like that and not have any friends, you must at least have a few guy friends pining after you.”

 

Maura looks up, confused, only to find that Jane is now avoiding her eyes, as if she regrets what she just said.

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asks, genuinely curious. 

 

Jane shrugs and takes a stab at her food. “I just mean you’re pretty. In my experience, pretty people usually are the ones with all the friends.”

 

“Oh,” Maura smiles, “then you must have had a lot of friends, too.”

 

Jane looks up at that, eyes wide, and Maura figures she wasn’t expecting that response. There is a weird feeling in the air around them, and for a second Maura thinks that maybe she is reading this situation all wrong. She watches as Jane tries to hide a grin, and then scoffs to herself. 

 

“Come on, Maura.”

 

“I’m serious. You’re gorgeous,” Maura says, softly. 

 

Maura doesn’t expect the blush to appear on Jane’s face, but when it does, she suddenly has the overwhelming urge to kiss her rosy cheeks. If she wasn’t sure of it before, she is now. Her feelings for Jane are slightly more than platonic, and she’s not entirely sure what to do about it. 

 

Jane clears her throat and peers up at Maura through her lashes, not completely looking at her in the face. 

 

“Anyway, I was saying, I should be done with work by 4, and then I’ll come find you and we can hang out,” she says. 

 

Maura nods and finds herself looking at Jane’s lips. “Okay.”

 

“What are you going to do with your day of freedom?”

 

Maura chuckles. “Freedom, that’s funny. Um, I’ll probably just read in my bunk.”

 

“So is that where I will find you this afternoon?”

 

“Most likely.”

 

“Okay, cool.”

 

Jane looks over at the clock on the wall and Maura follows her gaze without thinking about it.

 

“I should get going,” she says, getting up from the table and coming around to her side, “see you later.”

 

She feels Jane press her lips against the skin of her temple, but its so fleeting that she thinks maybe she made it up, a hallucination of the skin. 

 

And then she is gone.


	8. Chapter 8

Once the timer rings at four, Jane is out of the workshop in a flash. The weather outside is bearable, maybe even pleasant, as a light breeze caresses her heated skin. She notices there are lots of inmates sitting outside in the field as she makes her way into the eerily quiet main building. 

 

She makes her way to Maura’s cell block, occasionally looking over her shoulder. She feels as if she is being watched, but every time she turns, no one is there. 

 

The rest of Maura’s cell block is empty, which makes it easier to find her laid out on her bed, hair fanned out over her pillow, eyes closed loosely. 

 

And unnaturally pale. 

 

“Hey, are you okay?” Jane asks.

 

She watches as Maura’s eyes fly open and she flinches. For a second, Jane thinks she’s going to leap off the bed and take off running, but then the scared look in her eyes is replaced with an exhausted sort of happiness.

 

“I’m fine, Jane,” she says, sitting up.

 

“Really? You don’t look it, you’re pale.”

 

Maura chews her cheek and looks down into her lap

.

“I spent most of the day in the bathroom. I guess this prison food isn’t sitting well with me. I just got back a few minutes before you came,” she says, sheepishly.

 

Jane gingerly sits down beside her on the bed and places a gentle hand on her thigh.

“I’m sorry,” she says, sincerely, “Is there anything I can do to help?”

 

Maura scrunches up her nose as she thinks, and Jane finds herself wanting to kiss it and make her laugh.

 

“I wanted to read, but I feel a bit dizzy...could you --?”

 

“Of course I’ll read to you, anything you want.”

 

She places her hand over Jane’s on her thigh softly, using her for balance as she leans in the other direction to pick her science journal up off the floor. Jane tries to ignore the way her heart speeds up, but her head feels slightly fuzzy. 

 

“Really? You want me to read  _ that _ ?” she jokes, trying to get rid of the weird feeling in her head. 

 

Maura looks up, slightly disappointed and Jane feels her heart tear a little, suddenly wishing that she would disappear. 

 

“We can find something else if you don’t --” 

 

“No, it’s not that, it’s just...I might trip over the big words is all. I don’t know how relaxing that will  be.”

 

Maura just smiles at her and lays her head in Jane’s lap. She feels herself smile too, the act oddly surprising and sweet, making her heart stutter behind her ribs.  

 

“I’ll help you,” Maura says. 

 

“Pfft, what? You know every big medical term?”

 

Maura nods, grinning a little, her eyes closed. Her delicate features are so gentle and beautiful, and Jane wonders how such a person can exist, let alone be in a prison. 

 

“What are you, some kind of doctor?”

 

“No,” Maura says, and a sad pause takes place in the air before she continues, “I wanted to be… probably won’t now.”

 

Jane threads her fingers into Maura’s hair, wondering how the golden strands can stand be so soft in such a harsh setting. It shines in the sunlight, like a wheatfield in the breeze.

 

“I think you still could be,” she murmurs. 

 

Maura sighs softly, as if in defeat, as if she doesn’t believe that Jane really thinks that, and pats the thigh under her head. 

 

“Go on, Jane,” she mumbles.

 

Her face is almost peaceful and Jane wants nothing more than to give her everything she wants. She wants to give her the world, and her freedom, but Jane isn’t sure how. She does know that she can bring her some sort of comfort now, but she wonders when she will accept that as doing enough. She picks up the science journal.

 

“Where did you leave off?”

 

“The results section on the bookmarked page.”

 

Jane clears her throat and gently scratches Maura’s scalp with her nails, and hearing Maura’s soft hum of appreciation is intoxicating. 

 

Jane reads aloud the things she can, not minding the soft corrections from her lap. Normally, if anyone corrected her when it came to her reading or writing, she would be embarrassed, but something about Maura’s demeanor tells Jane that she is genuinely being helpful instead of mean. When she gets passed all the numbers and long terms and anagrams of tests she’s never heard of before in her life, she finds the content surprisingly interesting. 

 

“How can a prosecution rely solely on eyewitness testimony if memory is so corruptible?”

 

Maura just chuckles a little as Jane continues with her small rant.

 

“If I were a jury, I would never believe eyewitness testimony again, wow, that’s crazy.”

 

Maura goes quiet as Jane reads on, eventually moving onto the next article. She gets about halfway through the methods section when she realizes Maura hasn’t corrected her last couple mistakes. She thinks that maybe Maura is sleeping and her voice slowly drops off into silence, but continues to read the words across the page to herself. 

 

“Jane?” Maura calls. Her voice is so soft, almost like that of a child.

 

“Sorry, I thought you were asleep, I’ll --”

 

“No, it’s… I… I want to ask you something.”

 

Jane, sensing the seriousness in Maura’s voice, closes the journal and set it aside before placing both her hands in Maura’s curls. 

 

“Shoot,” she says, almost a whisper.

 

She watches Maura pick at her nails and avoid eye contact for what feels like an hour, but in reality is only a few seconds. 

 

“How did you get arrested?”

 

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she was expecting this question, which is why she’s not very surprised when she hears those words pass Maura’s lips. She traces one of her fingers along Maura’s hairline, petting her softly with the other hand before tangling her fingers back into her hair. Jane can’t help but think how vulnerable this is for herself and Maura, Maura’s head in her lap, Jane exposing her past. This moment makes her realize that not only does she want to protect Maura, but she trusts this person she’s only known for such a short time much more than she probably should.

 

“I had been trying to get a hold of my brother all day, but he wasn’t answering his phone.”

 

She feels Maura still beneath her, as if holding her breath, not wanting anything to disturb Jane’s story. 

 

“I was eighteen, my mom had been calling me at school all day to find him. But, I thought, he’s just a kid, where could he possibly go?”

 

She sees Maura nod her head in agreement, her eyes staring across the room.

 

“So, I went home, and he was there… he had a little bit of every illegal drug you could think of, clearly for him to sell. I started yelling and he cried, but eventually I got his supplier’s number and I setup a meeting.

 

Jane pauses to let herself breathe and she sees Maura’s shining, hazel eyes look up at her briefly before feeling her small fingers gently caress her arm in comfort.  

 

“I got pulled over for speeding, and it just happened to be the K-9 unit. The dogs were going crazy, they pulled me out of the car and searched it. They arrested me on the spot.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Maura murmurs, “why didn’t you tell them the truth?”

 

“And have my brother arrested, too? Nah, I couldn’t do that. My Ma would have killed me.”

 

She find herself shrugging, it happened years ago and there were much scarier and worse things in the world now than being arrested. 

 

“I’d rather be arrested than have Tommy get killed by some gang over drugs, or thrown in a juvenile facility.”

 

Maura nods and whispers, “I understand.”

 

“Besides, I’ll be out in a few more years.”

 

“You are very brave, Jane,” Maura says, her voice almost sounding like awe. 

 

“Nah, just protective,” she says humably, smiling. 

 

“Thank you for telling me.”

 

“It’s not a secret, I don’t mind,” she says, running her fingers through the strands of golden hair across her lap. 

 

They both sit in a comfortable silence, Jane lost in Maura’s hair, Maura lost in her own head. Jane can see an internal struggle happening behind Maura’s eyes and wonders if she’s thinking about how she herself ended up in this oddly vulnerable conversation. She wonders if Maura trusts her like Jane does, wonders if Maura is also thinking about what it would be like if Jane leaned over and pressed their lips together. 

 

She watches as Maura’s lips form her name, not really hearing her voice speak. 

 

“Hmm?”

 

“I...I can’t--”

 

Jane shakes her head, knowing what she wants to say. “You don’t have to. I wouldn’t ask that of you unless you wanted to tell me.”

 

Her hazel eyes meet Jane’s brown ones, and for a moment Jane is scared that she might get lost in them. A silent word of thanks is spoken between their gazes, and Jane thinks that it’s only a matter of time before she won’t be able to stop resisting the pull of Maura’s perfectly colored lips. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is your warning for some violence ahead. sorry :/

Their routine was nice, comfortable, and something Maura had quickly gotten used to in just a few short days. Jane would go to work and Maura would read on her own before Jane would come to find her. For the first time in a long while, Maura thinks she may be happy. Jane makes her happy. 

 

She sits outside, her back against the chain-link fence, facing the door to Jane’s workshop. The artificial lights on the inside were too weak, too dim for her mood today, so she sits outside, her face angled up towards the sun. It’s an almost perfect day out, minimal clouds, the refreshing breeze sweeping her hair off her shoulder, she can almost forget the subtle stench of trash underneath the smell of dinner cooking from the kitchen. This was her first mistake. 

 

There are only minutes left until four, until Jane will burst through the door and see Maura, the brightest smile across those almost irresistible lips. Lips that have kissed her cheek every day of this week. Instead, she closes her eyes and faces the sky, a contented smile across her face. Her second mistake. 

 

“Hey.”

 

Her eyes have only been closed for a few seconds, but when she opens them, three of her fellow inmates are looming over her. 

 

_ Oh shit. _

 

She doesn’t say anything, just makes brief eye contact with the biggest one before looking away.

 

“Where is your guard dog, babykiller?” she asks, ice in her voice. 

 

Maura thinks she knows what will happen next, but says her immediate thought anyway. Her third mistake.

 

“I don’t have a--”

 

It only takes one swift kick to the nose to knock her over before her face is pressed into the dirt and her arm is wrenched behind her back. She lets out a small scream of pain, but immediately silences it as she feels a foot connect with her thigh before being pulled up off the ground by her arm and her hair. 

 

“Rizzoli can’t protect you forever,” the woman snears, and pushes Maura’s arm up further. She wonders if it will just snap off from her shoulder, like a Barbie doll, but she knows that is medically improbable. It sure feels like it could, though.

 

They push her across the yard and back towards the main building and she wonders how no one has noticed this, noticed the blood running down her face, or how it got there, or the three women walking just a bit too close to her. No one stops their progress, the three women snicker and poke at her occasionally, like she’s some unusual creature, or a play thing. 

 

They walk her down an abandoned hallway, all the while muttering something about murder, and how killing a child is  _ wrong _ and how dare she, but Maura already knows this. She wants to tune them out, wants to fight back and get away, but she’s so weak from lack of food and throwing up for the fourth day in a row that she knows she doesn’t have a chance. 

 

She hears rain pattering on a metal roof and for a moment, she is confused. There were no atmospheric indications of rain a few minutes before, and yet she can feel the rain drenching her hair, the slap of her sneakers on wet pavement. Her world goes dark, as if someone shut off the lights, but the rain is still there, and she knows she’s still in that alley. She can feel them kicking her, her shins, her back, her thighs, but all she hears is her own voice yelling out for him and his barely there whimper of her name. 

 

They stopped kicking her, but it’s still dark and dank and slightly moist, and the idea that she could still be in that alley causes her to heave. There is noting in her stomach to throw up, but she does anyway, and it hurts. 

 

It’s gradual, but eventually she comes out of her flashback to realize she must be in some sort of supply closet. She feels her way around the darkness, brushing her hands along the brick walls until she finds the door. It’s only when she rattles the handle and the door doesn’t open that she really starts to panic again. 

 

She bangs her open palm on the door, begging softly for someone, anyone, to let her out. It’s no use, the three women from before are long gone. She is about to give up, to lay back down on the floor until someone finds her when she hears his voice, so soft and sweet and loving, calling out for her. 

 

“Connor?”

 

“He’s gone, Maura. Can I come in?”

 

She shakes her head. There is no way he is here, she is in prison and he is dead. And she can’t help that those two thoughts make her cry. 

 

How had she ended up in this place, alone and broken? Why were her parents never around to help her when she needed it the most? All she could think was that dying would be much better than feeling this way, and she sobs even harder. Before now, she never would have considered death a viable alternative to living. 

 

“Maura?!”

 

The voice is faint and echoed, like it was shouted from down the hall, but Maura would recognize that voice anywhere. 

 

“Jane!” she shouts. It hurts her raw throat, but she does it again. “Jane, in here!”

 

“Maura!” Her voice is closer. 

 

“Jane, help me!” she screams, banging her fist on the door.

 

“Hold on, let me get the door open,” she says, and Maura thinks she hears panic in her voice. 

 

The door handle rattles for a minute before the light of the hallway blinds Maura, but not before she sees Jane’s tall, familiar silhouette. She lets out a sob before launching herself into Jane’s strong arms and burying her face in her raven hair. She sobs with relief as Jane squeezes her tighter around her waist.

 

“I’ve got you, baby, it’s okay.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and finally, what I'm sure you all have been waiting for... trigger warning for domestic violence and child abuse. Also, when I used the name Jack, I totally forgot about Maura's boyfriend in season 5 lol, but this is a different dude.

Maura can’t help but think that she has never felt as safe as she does right now in Jane’s arms. The bed is small, and they aren’t alone, which is made even more obvious by the obnoxious laughter from next door, but in this little cubicle, they can pretend they are the only ones on the planet. Maura pushes her backside slightly into Jane’s hips, and Jane readjusts to her movement, pushing her leg up further between Maura’s thighs. She feels herself getting wet as she accidentally grinds against her thigh, but it’s not about that right now.

 

After the whole closet ordeal, Jane had gently wiped the blood from her face and laid her down on Jane’s bed. They had been silent the entire time and as Maura watched Jane’s face closely, she could see she was stewing behind those beautiful eyes. Could practically feel it now as Jane holds her close. Jane sighs, but it sounds like that little bit of breath that is forced from your lungs right before you start crying. Maura feels Jane press her face into her shoulder, feelings the hot puffs of air kiss her skin through the fabric of her jumpsuit, and tangles her fingers with those over her stomach.

 

She feels like she should say something, apologize to Jane for being stupid and going against their routine, thank her for always coming to her rescue.

 

“I just wanted to sit outside,” she mumbles, not sure if she really wants Jane to hear or not.

 

“I know,” she says, and her voice is muffled against Maura’s back.

 

She feels tears spring to her eyes as she remembers Jane’s voice that afternoon before opening the door, clearly panicked.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Jane shifts, pulling her impossibly closer, and Maura thinks that this is the most inappropriate time to be turned on. She feels Jane’s lips against her neck and she sighs.

 

“You have nothing to apologize for, it wasn’t your fault,” she insists.

 

Maura sniffs and nods her head.

 

“Don’t cry, baby…”

 

Maura presses her face into the pillow and forces herself to breathe normally. A few tears escape before she can force them away, but she calms herself.

 

The guard comes in to retrieve Jane’s cell block for dinner, and they listen as the chatter pitters out as everyone leaves. They stay still, but no one acknowledges them as they hold each other in the increasing silence.

 

“I have some food we can eat later,” Jane whispers.

 

Maura nods, but she doesn’t feel much like eating. All she wants is Jane.

 

She turns over onto her other side and Jane looks slightly surprised before readjusting to Maura’s new position. Maura wraps her arms around Jane’s waist, laying one leg across her hips before lying her head on Jane’s chest. She can feel Jane’s long, gentle fingers tangle in her hair and she finds herself smiling, despite everything that happened that afternoon. Then she thinks about it again, why she was there, why they attacked her, and suddenly she wants to defend herself.

 

“I met this guy...at a bus stop. I don’t usually use the bus, and I didn’t have many friends at the time,” she says.

 

Jane stays the way that she is, and if she realizes what Maura is about to say, she doesn’t show it. Maura stares blankly at the opposite wall, listening to Jane’s heart as she speaks.

 

“So, it was kind of surprising when we started dating a few weeks later. He was a senior in college, and I was 16, with not friends, and my parents always gone… I spent a lot of time with him.”

 

She sighs before continuing.

 

“He was charming, nice, romantic… and when he told me three weeks into our relationship that he had a kid… he thought it would be a deal breaker, but I didn’t mind.”

 

Jane slides one of her hands on top of Maura’s on her stomach, rubbing circles into her back with her other hand, and Maura thinks Jane finally understands what she’s trying to say.

 

“It didn’t take long for… Jack… to show his true colors, and for me to understand why Connor was so shy and timid in his presence. He would get mad at me over little things and… he would hit me… sometimes he would lock me in a closet, but he would always storm off and we wouldn’t see him until the next afternoon.”

 

She expects Jane to maybe say something, but instead she stays quiet. She wonders if she’s sharing too much, when Jane just murmurs that it’s okay, she’s okay, and presses a gentle kiss to her forehead. Being with Jane is  so much different, there is so much love, and Maura wonders why she never noticed how absent the tenderness was with Jack. How could she have continued on for so long, thinking he cared?

 

“When Jack would leave, Connor would come to me and I would just hold him as he cried, and I comforted him… loved him like he was my own. He would do little sweet things for me. He got me a card for my birthday and put his school photo in it as a gift… he was a beautiful soul. And I wanted nothing more than to get away from Jack… but I wanted to be there for him more, to protect him.”

 

“I’m sure you did, baby,” Jane murmurs against her hair. Maura squeezes her back gently, pulling herself closer.

 

“We were together eight months when Connor’s mother filed for full custody, and after a very long and painful month, she won. He seemed to punish me twice as hard as if to make up for Connor not being there. But, he was free, which meant, I could be, too.”

 

She feels Jane absentmindedly twirl a strand of Maura’s hair around her finger and Maura takes in everything about this moment. Jane’s warmth, her fingers squeezing her own, her legs under Maura’s thigh. The way Jane’s breathing stills every time she pauses. She grounds herself, before moving on.

 

“A week before the day I decided I would leave him, we were running errands in the pouring down rain, so most of the time I stayed in the car. He pulled over, parked on the side of the road and said ‘Stay here, I’ll be right back. I just need to pick something up’, and got out of the car.”

 

She can picture it now, but only briefly, refusing to go into a flashback while she is lying safely in Jane’s arms.

 

“It only took me two minutes to realize we were parked near Connor’s afterschool program. So… I got out of the car, and went in the direction I saw Jack go. I was soaked as soon as I stepped out of the car, but I knew something was wrong, and it didn’t take me long to find the alley.”

 

While before, she had been speaking with a sort of clinical detachment, she finds herself tearing up before she can even say what she saw. Her voice stalls briefly before she continues.

 

“I saw Jack…” her voice cracks, “kneeling… and all I could see were Connor’s shoes.”

 

She feels the tears running down her cheeks and then Jane’s gentle fingers wiping them away.

 

“I called out to him, and Jack came running at me, knocked me to the ground, but I was so determined to get to Connor that I didn’t even care that he was running away. I kept calling his name… he had been stabbed and there was so much blood, but he was still there, barely.”

 

Maura wipes at her nose, and she can tell by the change in Jane’s breathing that she must be crying as well.

 

“I told him I would help him, and he asked me to stay with him… like all those other nights. So, I did,” a small sob breaks up her speech, “and he died in my arms.”

 

Jane wraps her arms around Maura, hugging her to her chest, as if she were afraid she would leave.

 

“I don’t remember much after that… somehow I got back to my parent’s house, and the next thing I know, the police are knocking on my door.”

 

The tone of her voice now subtly switches from sad to bitter.

 

“They went to Jack’s house first, and he said he hadn’t seen me all day, that I was obsessed with Connor… The knife he used was the same one I had used that morning to make his breakfast… he had been planning to frame me all along.”

 

“Fucker,” Jane mutters.

 

“I tried to tell them about Jack… but they had my fingerprints, so… here I am.”

 

For the first time, Maura looks up at Jane, her eyes a mixture between sad and angry, tear tracks shining on her cheeks. She knows she doesn’t have to say it, but she does anyway.

 

“I didn’t do it, Jane.”

 

She leans into Jane’s hand as she reaches out to stroke it with her thumb, revelling in the feeling of her comfort.

 

“I know,” she says, and smiles at Maura sadly before continuing, “we will get him, Maura.”

 

Maura bites her lip. The way Jane is right now, kind, caring, protective, Maura thinks she wants to be with Jane this way forever. She wants to kiss her, every inch of her body, make love to her to show how much she means to her. But, she’s not done speaking and she knows this next thing may send her away forever.

 

“You want to know what the worst part is?” she says, and her voice is quiet, serious.

 

“What?”

 

“I think I’m pregnant.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you guys really think Maura would kill a child? Heeeck, no. So, I'm thinking this will have a few more chapters, and then it'll be done. Maybe 5 more chapters at the most, I'm not sure. Again, thank you all for reading, I really appreciate the reviews I have gotten from this :)


	11. Chapter 11

Jane refuses to leave her side and Maura is perfectly okay with that, The weeks go by and they stick to the same routine because Maura is afraid of what might happen if she doesn’t. The jail never assigns her to a work position, as if she isn’t even there, just an apparition that appeared instead of a girl. She never asks. She’s perfectly okay with this arrangement. It means more time with Jane. 

 

Jane. Strong, beautiful, goofy Jane. 

 

Maura can tell she worries constantly because everytime Maura moves when Jane isn’t expecting it she’s on her feet, ready to fight, comfort, protect, whatever the case may be. In a way, Maura feels guilty for being the cause of her anxiety, but at the same time she’s glad she has someone willing to do almost anything for her. And she knows she would do the same for Jane. 

 

She watches as Jane chews silently across from her, her eyebrows furrowed in concentration as she reads her book. Her long, dark curls seem to be getting longer and more wild, and Maura can’t help but picture a lazy lion lying in the sun. 

 

Normally, they would be talking on this lovely evening, but Jane had practically begged her to just finish this one chapter, a few more pages, Maur, then I’m all yours. 

 

_ And she really is all mine _ , Maura thinks,  _ wow _ . 

 

Jane flips her page mechanically, and Maura watches her eyes roll along the page as she absentmindedly stabs at her dinner. She wishes she could hear what was going on inside that wonderful mind. 

 

And then she’s wet, and Jane is out of her chair, and everything happens so fast. Maura’s hair is soaked and sticking to her face and she thinks maybe she is having another flashback, but this doesn’t feel like rain.

 

“What the fuck?!” she hears Jane shout. 

 

“Oh, sorry Rizzoli, my milk was bad, so I figured I’d dump it out.”

 

“Ladies, break it up!”

 

“You’re lucky that guard is here, or I would have thrown you out the window,” Jane growls. 

 

“Oh, please, Rizz, she’s not worth it.” 

 

Maura registers Jackie’s voice but she seems to be stuck in place, staring at the spot Jane used to be sitting. It’s only when she feels Jane’s gentle hands on her back that she moves again, turning her head and meeting Jane’s big eyes. 

 

“Come on, Maur, let’s go get you cleaned up,” she murmurs. 

 

Maura nods and takes Jane’s hand when it’s offered to her, holding onto her like a buoy and she’s drowning. 

 

This isn’t the first time something like this has happened since the closet incident, but it’s the first one that blatantly happened in Jane’s presence. They had been “accidentally” tripping and pushing her, and the acts weren’t limited to just one clique. Every group had their own way of showing their disdain for Maura. 

 

Jane squeezes her hand and brings her back to the present. 

 

“You’ve been awfully quiet today, are you feeling okay?” she asks. 

 

She’s not sure how to respond. She wants to tell Jane she’s fine, that it doesn’t hurt to be bullied, that she doesn’t need Jane to defend her, but she can’t. It’s not the truth, and she doesn’t want Jane to leave. That’s what upsets her the most, that one day Jane will get tired of defending her and she will leave her to fend for herself. She gives Jane a small smile, which the brunette returns. 

 

“I’m feeling okay,” she shrugs, “Just another tiring day.”

 

They walk into her cell block and Maura wants nothing more than to curl up with Jane in bed and sleep for a year. That can’t happen however, because she has milk in her hair and it’s too late in the day for a nap. They walk up to her cubicle and Jane stops, turning to her and patting her on the hip.

 

“Why don’t you head to the shower? I’ll bring your clothes,” she encourages sweetly. 

 

But, Maura can see the underlying note of annoyance and nervousness in Jane’s eyes, as if she’s afraid that Maura may blow up at her. She can’t possibly imagine why Jane would feel this way towards her without any reason, and then she looks over Jane’s shoulder and she sees it. Her sheet is covered in what she hopes is fake blood, the giant red stain reminding her of her early years struggling through puberty. In the middle of the stain is a baby doll, also covered in the red stuff, with a sharpened toothbrush sticking out of it’s chest like a knife. The image is so startling, but somehow expected, and a slew of emotions run through Maura’s head. 

 

“Maur…”

 

“How the fuck did they even get that in here?!” she grumbles.

 

She moves around Jane and grabs her supplies for her shower, shoving her jumpsuit under her arm so she can grab her shampoo and soap. She can smell her hair turning sour and it makes her want to vomit. 

 

“Some people can be resourceful.”

 

“This isn’t funny, Jane.”

 

“I’m not laughing,” she replies solemnly. 

 

She knows it’s irrational to be mad at Jane, and deep down she knows she’s not, but she’s so tired and she smells like a sewer and she feels disgusting and she can’t stand it. Before she can say anything she’ll regret, she brushes past Jane and leaves for the bathroom.

 

“Maura, baby, wait,” Jane calls, sadly.

 

She doesn’t. 

*********

Jane waits a few minutes before going after her. She would never leave Muara on her own, she made that mistake once and she ended up locked in a closet for hours. Never again.

 

She finds her in the bathroom, one shower stall on to indicate she was there. She leans her back against the brick partition between stalls and starts her watch shift, like a sentential in the night.

 

“I’m sorry, Maura, I didn’t mean to sound like I was making a joke. I am just as upset about this as you are.”

 

Her apology is met with silence. 

 

“I just… I hate seeing you upset. Sometimes I try to fix things with humor, but this time I wasn’t trying to, I promise. You know I would do anything for you, Maur…”

 

This time she’s interrupted by a small sob, as if she was trying to hold it back but couldn’t, as if Maura didn’t want her to hear her crying. Jane feels something in her chest constrict. She didn’t mean to make her cry, but knowing she was the cause made her ache. She makes a split second decision and starts taking off her clothes. 

 

“Maura, I’m coming in,” she says, pushing the curtain aside. 

 

Maura is still completely dressed except for her shoes and socks and Jane can see that she has her head pressed against the wall. Her clothes and hair are soaked by the spray of the shower and Jane isn’t sure if she is shaking from the cold water or from her crying.

 

“Oh, honey…”

 

She moves forward, slowly wrapping her arms around Maura’s waist and presses her naked front to Maura’s back. Maura’s tremors rock into Jane, as if trying to buck her off, but Jane holds on tight despite the cold. She buries her face in Maura’s neck, ignoring the water running down her face. She’s not sure how long they stand there, Jane holding Maura tightly, before Maura finally can speak. 

 

“I’m so tired, Jane,” Maura sobs.

 

“I know,” Jane murmurs.

 

“I don’t know how much longer I can do this.”

 

“You’re not alone. Tell me what you need, baby, I’ll do anything,” Jane declares softly. 

 

She feels Maura turn in her arms and watches as Maura presses her back against the wall. She’s so small, but the fierce, lustful look in her eyes is anything but vulnerable and Jane’s breath catches in her throat. There are tears still running down her cheeks as she places one hand on Jane’s hip and pulls her a bit closer. 

 

“I just need you,” Maura says, but it’s so soft that Jane barely hears it over the roar of the water. 

 

Just those four words are enough to convince Jane that this weird tension between them was always meant to be broken right here in this shower. She’s beautiful, practically perfect, and from the moment she saw her she knew that Maura was special. She deserved to be protected, treated right, and given the world. She had been resisting her lips for so long, but she knows now that holding back was pointless. 

 

Maura wraps an arm around Jane’s neck as she starts unbuttoning Maura’s soaked jumpsuit. She can see her chest heaving slightly through her white t-shirt as she pushes the suit off her shoulders and down her legs for Maura to step out of. She slides her hands up Maura’s sides, bunching up the white material as Maura moans before pulling it over her head and throwing it on the floor. She pulls Maura’s underwear down her legs and resists the urge to lick her stomach as she watches Maura unhook her bra and throw it aside. All the while, Jane can feel Maura’s hungry eyes staring longingly at Jane’s body, as if she wants to touch but feels as though she can’t.

 

Jane places her hands on the wall on either side of Maura’s head and Maura’s eyes darken with arousal at the site of Jane’s breasts in front of her. Jane feels her fingers, tentative at first, press into her breasts before she feels confident thumbs roll over her nipples. Maura looks up into her eyes, her expression questioning before Jane looks down at those pink lips that she has been resisting for long. She leans forward, bridging the gap between them, and finally presses their lips together.

 

The kiss is wetter that Jane expected, and Maura’s lips are slightly cold from the water, but it’s so perfect. Slow, gentle, almost chaste.

 

“Jane,” Maura moans. 

 

Jane presses their lips together again, sucking Maura’s bottom lip between her own and presses her hips into Maura’s.  She lets out a surprised squeak against her lips and Jane groans in response. She slides her hands down Maura’s sides before reaching around to grab her round ass and lift her off the ground. Her curves are comforting, her skin soft as silk, her smooth legs surprisingly strong as they wrap around Jane’s waist. She wants this, she has wanted this for weeks, but her first priority is making sure Maura is clean and okay. As her head starts to clear, she pulls away from the kiss and presses her face into Maura’s neck. 

 

“Jane?”

 

Jane smiles into her neck and places a quick kiss to the underside of her chin. 

 

“I would love nothing more that to take you right here against this wall, but it’s cold, and I want to get you cleaned up before you catch pneumonia.”

 

“Jane, you can’t catch pneumonia from--”

 

“Shh,” she kisses her again, “I know.”

 

She puts her down gently, not really wanting to let her go, or even let her feet touch the dirty floor, and reaches for the shampoo. She feels Maura’s eyes on her before meeting her gaze.

 

“Jane, you don’t…”

 

“I want to,” she says, kissing her forehead, “Turn around.”

 

Once Maura complies, she works the shampoo into Maura’s hair and smiles as she hears Maura laugh quietly to herself. The noise, although surprising, is melodic, and Jane longs to hear it again.

 

“What’s so funny?”

 

Maura shrugs. “I don’t know. Must be the…”

 

She doesn’t complete the sentence, but Jane is sure she knows what she was going to say. They always avoid the topic of Maura’s potential pregnancy, almost like if they don’t mention it, then it won’t be a thing. Jane knows that she would still protect Maura and care for her, baby or not. 

 

Jane spends the next 20 minutes worshiping every inch of Maura’s body with soap, pressing kisses to her arms, thighs, tummy, and finally her lips again.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Umm this chapter is a rollercoaster of emotions, sorry :/

The ringing of the phone line is like gunfire against her eardrum. She is anxious, she can tell, because all her senses heighten as the blood pounds through her body, and the material of the jumpsuit is irritating her skin. Her grip on the phone is strong, her knuckles turning white and her fingers going slightly numb as she presses the receiver to her ear. The phone seems to ring for what feels like half an hour, but there are only three rings before someone finally answers. 

 

“Maura?”

 

She has never been so happy to hear her mother’s voice. For a month she has been avoiding making this call, wondering how her mother was going to react, but when the weeks continued to go by without any word, Maura figured it was time to do something. 

 

“Yes, mother, it’s me,” she says, her voice shaking. 

 

“For heaven’s sake, Maura, what have you done?”

 

“Mother, listen to me--”

 

“They have been saying a child was killed, how could you!”

 

“It wasn’t me! Please let me explain!”

 

The line goes quiet and for a minute Maura is scared that her time has run out, or her mother hung up. She pulls the phone away from her ear briefly and looks around the phone to check the wires. All seems to be well, but before she can say anything else, her mother speaks again. 

 

“I’m waiting, Maura.”

 

Maura breathes a sigh of relief, glad that her mother is willing to hear her out. But what exactly can she say to explain herself? You left me alone so I got into a relationship too fast and for too long? Her mother would never understand, and frankly, Maura was surprised even Jane understood. 

 

“I...I was framed.”

 

“They have your fingerprints and your bloody clothes, Maura, you cannot say that you weren’t there,” her mother says, exasperated.

 

“I didn’t say I wasn’t there, Mother, I said I was framed.”

 

“Then stop circumlocuting and tell me the truth.”

 

Maura feels the tears spring to her eyes. Her mother had never been one for affection, and at times Maura felt neglected, but never in her life had she wanted her mother to know that she felt like she wasn’t getting the attention she needed. Constance was a wonderful mother, just busy and sometimes forgetful. The only way to defend herself, however, was to tell the truth, and she hopes she doesn’t offend her. 

 

“I was...I was dating the boy’s father. It was Jack, not me. I can promise you, Jack has multiple motives, the lawyers really don’t need to look that hard. Mom...he...” she tries to talk around the lump in her throat, “He hit us, he has a history of violence...we need to--”

 

“I’ll call my lawyer right now.”

 

“Mom? I wasn’t--”

 

“You don’t need to say anymore. I’m not letting that bastard get away with abuse,” she says, and Maura hears her voice shaking with anger. 

 

“Mom, I--”

 

“Maura, I’m going to get you out of there, okay? When can I visit?”

 

This is so uncharacteristic of her mother that she isn’t even sure how to respond. She is shocked into silence and almost misses when her mother asks her question again. 

 

“Maura?”

 

“Um, three days.”

 

“I’m coming, darling, don’t worry. I know people who will be able to get you out of this.”

 

She barely notices the tears running down her face as a giant weight is lifted off her shoulders. This phone call was a last ditch effort, something Maura never thought would be fruitful because she never expected her mother to even pick up the phone. All those years Maura thought she didn’t care when she was waiting there all along for Maura to reach out and ask for help. That’s all it took. 

 

“I love you, mother.”

 

“I love you, too, darling. I will see you in three days.”

*********

Jane watches through the window as Maura sits at a visitor table with two professional looking women, one with dark hair and one with red hair, but with similar outfits. She’s not sure which one is Maura’s mother because sweet, kind Maura doesn’t really resemble either woman with her round face and her honey colored hair. She had told Jane earlier that day not to worry, but Jane couldn’t help but keep an eye on her like any other day. She rubs her palms with her thumbs before turning away from the window and making her way to the rec room. 

 

Maura was the best thing that happened to her in the three years that Jane was stuck in this place. She had gotten so used to having Maura around that now she can’t even imagine being here without her. She is bright and intelligent, a strong ray of sunshine on an otherwise gloomy day, and Jane wonders if she can survive without Maura. What will she do after work without Maura to hold, who will help her improve her reading skills? She knows that once Maura is gone, she will be completely alone. Normally, this thought would bring her comfort, especially when she used to be around people like Lo and Jackie all the time, but now it just makes her feel sad and worthless. 

 

“Hey, are you okay?”

 

When she comes back to herself, Maura is standing right in front of her, her eyebrows furrowed with worry. She wants to kiss the space between her eyebrows but resists due to the public setting. Instead, she reaches out and takes Maura’s hand, which engenders a small smile on Maura’s lips. 

 

“How did it go?” Jane asks. 

 

Maura nods to herself. “It went okay. I just had to tell them what I told you and sign some papers.”

 

“Did you tell her about…”

 

Maura looks down at her feet, a guilty look on her face before shaking her head minutely. “No, I figured I would wait to tell her when I was sure.”

 

Jane just nods and squeezes her hand, pulling her slightly closer. 

 

“I told her about you, though.”

 

Jane looks up at this, searching her face for something, but only finding a small, fond smile. 

 

“Oh?”

 

Maura nods and perches herself gently on Jane’s lap after making sure no one else is in the room. She wraps one arm around Jane’s neck and she has to force herself not to bury her face in Maura’s hair. 

 

“I think she would like to meet you,” Maura says. 

 

Jane scoffs. “Like that’ll happen.”

 

“She’s a very persuasive woman, Constance Isles, if she wants to meet you, she will find a way,” she says, with a chuckle. 

 

Jane wraps her arms around Maura’s waist and squeezes her gently. She looks at a spot over Maura’s shoulder as she feels her hazel eyes search her face. It’s all becoming so real, that Maura is actually going to get out and leave her alone. Her eyes and cheeks suddenly become hot and she pushes her face into Maura’s neck to keep them out of sight. She feels warm tears spill down her cheeks.

 

“What am I going to do when you’re gone?” she says, and her voice cracks halfway through. 

 

“Oh, Jane,” Maura coos, sadly. 

 

She feels Maura’s gentle fingers tangle in her hair. Normally, that act alone would soothe her, Jane isn’t one to just break down in the rec room, but she feels a sense of despair every time she tries to imagine Maura walking down that hallway again and out of her life. Her hands clutch at Maura’s jumpsuit and she feels them cramp up just slightly. 

 

“I will write to you, and visit when I can, but I’m sure I won’t have to do that for long,” Maura says.

Jane sniffs, and looks up into Maura’s eyes, which are shining with some sort of cunning energy. 

“What do you mean?”

Maura smiles. “Jane, I’m going to get you out of here, too.”

Another wave of panic crashes into Jane. There is no way that Jane can get out of jail without having to switch places with her brother. She feels slightly sick, and kind of angry that Maura would even think to do that after she expressed how she felt about the situation. 

“Maura, you can’t, my brother--”

“Will stay exactly where he is, Jane, I promise. We won’t bring him into this, but you shouldn’t be in here either,” Maura argues.

Jane tries to smile, and says, “Maura, I’ll be fine.”

“You only have a few more years...I’m sure mother can do something to get you out of here.”

Jane shakes her head. “I can’t ask that of her.”

“You don’t have to, she’s offering, and I’m insisting,” Maura says, and gently wipes Jane’s tears away with her thumbs, “Come on… we could get a place together… let me take care of you, Jane.”

Jane isn’t sure if it’s the look in her eyes, or the sweet way her voice caresses her ears, or her gentle touch against her face, but Jane finds herself nodding. She’s not really sure what she’s agreeing to, but when a girl says they want to take care of you, you don’t refuse unless you want to look like a fool. 

*********

It had only taken Constance two weeks to get Maura’s trial scheduled. She had only visited twice, and multiple phone calls later, Maura was preparing to defend herself in court. Jane had watched the last meeting Maura had with her mother, where the severe looking woman had held up outfits for Maura to evaluate. As she watched these interactions, it became clear to Jane, when Constance smiled, that she loved her daughter dearly. At first she didn’t know how Maura could possibly be related to her, or whether the woman was even capable of care, but her fears were erased just from one simple smile. 

She lays with her head on Maura’s stomach, one ear over her belly button as Maura runs her fingers through Jane’s hair. 

“I really like that outfit your mother picked out for you,” she says. 

Maura chuckles and Jane hears and feels it rumble through her body.

“You haven’t even seen it on me, how do you know it looks good?”

“Because anything looks good on you,” Jane says, and she shrugs as if it’s obvious. 

“Pfft, not this jumpsuit,” she argues.

“Well, no, but that’s because it isn’t the right size. It’s like 2 sizes too big… but, you look cute in it anyway.”

“Oh, really? I’m sure my mother thinks differently,” she says, laughing. 

“Yeah, no mom wants to see their child in an orange jumpsuit,” Jane agrees.

“Anyway, yes, the outfit my mother chose is acceptable. She has a great sense of style.”

Jane nods. “She seems nice.”

Maura smiles wistfully. “Yeah, she is.”

“I can see where you got your kindness genes from.”

Jane feels Maura hold her breath just a little too long to be normal and she wonders if she offended her somehow.

“Well, I was adopted, but I assume kindness can also be inherited through nurture as well as nature,” she babbles.

“Maura, I’m sorry--”

“No, it’s okay. I don’t know why I never told you,” Maura says, “Maybe because I didn’t expect to hear from her again.”

Jane takes one of Maura’s hands and tangles their fingers together. 

“I’m glad you called her.”

Maura makes a small smile and says, “Me too.”

Jane kisses Maura’s stomach under her head before pulling her body closer, making Maura giggle. 

“You know, Jane, I never really pictured you as a cuddler when we first met.”

“Why, because I’m manly?” she grins. 

“Contrary to popular belief, most of the men I have dated wanted to cuddle more than I did, but no,” Maura chuckles, “You just seemed like the type of woman to never let yourself be vulnerable like this.”

“I can’t believe you just called me a woman, that’s so weird,” she says, but then her voice gets serious, “You’re right, though.”

She feels Maura stroke her hair, her sign of trying to comfort her, and places her chin on Maura’s stomach so she can look up at her. Maura’s hazel eyes are so kind and gentle, to match the rest of her body of soft curves and smooth skin. She’s too perfect to be anything but a gift to this world. She makes Jane feels so raw, but this makes her feels like she is living for the first time in a while.  _ Maura _ makes her feel that way.

“I usually don’t like being vulnerable, but I know with you… you won’t take advantage,” Jane murmurs.

Maura bites her lip and shakes her head, and it’s one of the most adorable things Jane has ever seen. 

“Never,” she whispers. 

Jane scoots up so she is level with Maura, their lips just inches apart, and Maura tucks a piece of Jane’s hair behind her ear. 

“You’re perfect,” Jane breathes.

When Maura smiles in response, Jane feels accomplished, like she’s on top of the world. 

*********

Today is the first day in over two months that the routine is different. With Maura gone, Jane finds herself feeling restless, pacing the yard as she waits for Maura to return. How long does this trial need to be, she wonders, Maura is innocent, can’t they see that? She wonders what will happen to Jack, would Maura end up staying in jail? A small, horrible voice in the back of her head tells her that more jail time for Maura would mean more time for them to be together. As much as she wants to be near Maura, she knows that she will have to let her go if the verdict is in her favor. 

Doesn’t make it any easier.

It’s nearing 7 p.m., almost time for free range time to end and movie night to begin, when Jane finally spots her walking into her cell block. She looks tired, despite her hair being done and a small amount of makeup on her eyes and Jane wonders if her mother did that for her or if they hired a professional. Jane sits patiently on Maura’s bed and watches as she makes her way over to the cubicle. 

Maura doesn’t notice Jane at first, but when she does, a smile brightens up her face and Jane responds involuntarily with one of her own. It’s only when the pain of Maura’s absence is gone that she notices it was there at all. 

Jane pats her lap, indicating to Maura that it’s free for her head and Maura gladly collapses into it. 

“What happened?”

Maura sighs and shakes her head.

“They are going over all the evidence against me, and then tomorrow there will be new evidence… I can’t read how the jury is feeling.”

“What about Jack? Has he been arrested?”

“They are investigating him, but this is my trial, so they won’t bring him into it.”

Jane traces the lines on Maura’s forehead before Maura relaxes her face and they disappear. 

“What evidence do they have?”

Maura purses her lips and closes her eyes. 

“Prosecution has fingerprints, my clothes, and CCTV footage, and my lawyers will be presenting their evidence tomorrow.”

“Is that usually how a trial goes?”

“Probably not. I get the feeling my lawyers don’t exactly have all their evidence at the moment.”

“Well, that’s not good.”

Maura shakes her head. “I don’t know about this, Jane.”

Jane can feel how nervous she is, and despite wanting Maura to be with her until she gets out herself, she also wants Maura to be free.

She leans over and presses her lips gently against her forehead.

“It’ll all work out, baby, you’ll see.”

*********

The walk down this hallway is suddenly much different than the first time. It seems less dingy, and Maura is looking at it through a completely new lense. It had somehow transformed from a place of oppression, to a place of love for her, and she doesn't see it as badly as she did before.

She was getting out.

Before, when she made this walk, it seemed like the hallway went on forever, but today she takes two steps and she's already behind the gate, surrounded by big, muscular guards. They are her entourage as they escort her through the prison and to her cell block.

It's three o'clock, the middle of the day, and most of the inmates are at work, including Jane, and Maura isn't sure how to feel about that. Her mother is waiting in the lobby for her and even though she said to take her time, Maura gets the feeling that she doesn't want to stay any longer than she absolutely has to. She also knows that this could be her last opportunity to see Jane for a long while. 

The walk through the jail with her personal bodyguards goes by faster than she would have liked. She wishes she could drag out their progress, just so she can find Jane once she's out of work. She doesn't want to leave the way she entered, lonely and scared. She wants to leave feeling the way Jane makes her feel, loved and alive. 

They round the corner into her cellblock and she seems raven curls sitting on her bed, and she almost bursts into tears. Relief rolls down her body and encourages her legs to move faster. Jane stands to meet her, her eyes clouded with confusion as she sees the guards surrounding her. 

Maura throws herself into Jane’s arms, pressing a kiss to her jaw before squeezing her tightly. 

“I didn't think I was going to be able to see you,” she cries. 

“I wasn't feeling good, so they let me go early,” she says.

Maura pulls away to look at her and feel her forehead. “Oh no, are you okay?”

Jane gently swats her hand away. “I'm fine. You're leaving?”

Maura nods, sadly, and watches as Jane's eyes flood with tears. It hurts, this weird feeling in her chest she can't explain, but she knows she wants to make Jane feel better. She's not sure how. 

“Help me pack?” She asks, hopefully.

Jane just nods before turning and starting to gather Maura’s things.

They work in silence only because the guards are still watching and Maura can tell that Jane is uncomfortable with them. She wants nothing more than to push her down on the bed and hold onto her for dear life. All this time, she thought leaving would be easy, but how could she possibly think that when she had Jane?

Maura watches her from the corner of her eye and sees her discreetly wiping away tears from her cheeks. It doesn't take them long, Maura had only been there for a month and a half, before Jane is standing up straight and handing her the rest of her things. She avoids Maura’s eyes and her chest aches again with that unexplainable melancholy feeling, wanting to hold those beautiful brown eyes for one last time. 

“Bye, Maura,” she mumbles, and her barely audible voice cracks with grief. 

Maura can't take it anymore. She doesn't want to leave Jane and fuck these guards for ruining her final moments with her. Before she can lose her nerve, she's stepping up to Jane, pulling her by the back of the neck to smash their lips together. Jane responds halfheartedly, and it's painful, it hurts so much that Jane is sad enough to not be able to put her heart into this kiss. Her heart is rupturing in her chest and the feel of it bubbles out of her mouth in a sob against Jane’s lips. 

Then, Jane is wrapping her arms around Maura’s waist, lifting her slightly off the ground, and her lips are responding, finally, coming back to life. The ache lessens just slightly enough for her to press her tongue into Jane’s waiting mouth and she never wants to leave this moment. 

She pulls away and looks into Jane’s sharp face. Her eyes are closed tightly, as if she can will this moment out of existence, and she's so beautiful and strong that Maura wants to stay forever. 

“I will be back for you,” Maura says, and her voice is full of conviction.

“Maura--”

“No matter how long it takes, when you get out, I will be standing on the other side of that hallway for you. Okay?”

“Okay,” Jane whispers.

“I won't leave you here.”

Jane nods. 

“I'll see you soon, Jane, okay?”

“Okay.”

Maura pulls away before she can't bring herself to let go and turns away with a sad smile. Jane watches her go, the guards surrounding her like a bubble, and collapses back onto the empty bed with her head in her hands. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another emotional roller coaster, folks. Sorry, I don't know how to just write fluff, always gotta have the angst too. Enjoy :)

_ My Jane, _

 

_ It’s only been a week and I miss you immensely. Truth be told, I missed you the moment I turned away from you, but I couldn’t stand to see you so sad because of me. I hope this letter finds you in good spirits and you aren’t sad when you read this because I only want you to remember how we felt when we were together. How safe we felt in each others arms instead of how long we’ve been apart.  _

 

_ I finally told my mother about the baby. She was much more upset with Jack than she was with me, which I found surprising, but I’m not going to question her. I had an appointment the other day and the doctor says I’m four months along and the baby is healthy and will probably stay that way, thankfully. My mother isn’t all too thrilled with my decision to keep them. Not because we can’t take care of them, that isn’t a problem, but because the child has a piece of Jack and why would I want to bring that into my life again? All I can think about is Connor, how wonderful he was, sweet, caring, big hearted, and I hope that my child is just like him. I hope the goodness in me can override whatever Jack passed onto them. I can’t wait until I have a really good ultrasound picture to send you, I think you will love this child as much as I do already.  _

 

_ I received a call from my lawyers shortly after I was released that was a little unsettling. Jack seems to have gone missing and the police cannot trace where he could have gone. I’m glad to be out, but I just wish they had caught him before doing so, not just for my safety, but for justice for Connor. I fear they may never find him and he’s out there hurting other people, other women or children that aren’t his. I feel oddly on edge in my own house, which makes me long for the feel of your skin against mine even more. I miss your hands in my hair, your front pressed into my back, your arms around my waist… _

 

_ I have decided to go to college after all because you were right, I still have the chance. I’m waiting to hear back from a pre-med program and mother tells me that I’m practically guaranteed anywhere I choose after what happened to me. I, however, believe the opposite can happen. Everyone in that prison was so readily able to believe that I would kill someone that it’s not hard to understand that people on the outside might believe it too. I think about all those trials I had seen in the past where the public would be completely split on whether the person was guilty or not despite the evidence presented in court, and these same people would get angry if there chosen verdict was not the one they believed in their head. She doesn’t understand that some people cannot see the truth, even when it is sitting right in front of them, and I know that there are some places that will not accept me because they don’t believe I am innocent. Anyway, the only problem with going to school is not being able to visit you as often as I would like but, I promise that doesn’t mean that I am leaving you. I will write you, and hopefully you won’t be inside for much longer. Mother has started transfering money into your account so you can get whatever you need from the commissary, make sure to let me know if you need more. _

_ Please don’t give up, Jane. You are so strong, beautiful, and brave, and you can last a few more months. Mother and I are working tirelessly to get you out of there, and when we succeed, you know exactly where I will be. I can’t wait to hold you, take care of you, and protect you like you did for me. I love you so much, Jane. I will see you soon. _

 

_ Sincerely Yours, _

_ Maura _

*********

She’s so glad to be getting out of her mindless job that she doesn’t even panic when the word “warden” passes the guard’s lips. In fact, the word doesn’t even register until she is halfway to the warden’s office. By then, it’s too late for her to say, “No thank you, I’ll stay at my boring ass job, that’s okay”, which is what she wants to do instead of facing whatever is behind that door for her. 

The warden, who is grey haired and balding, as they all are, doesn’t look up as Jane enters the room and takes her seat across from his desk. She feels like she’s going to speak to a cyclops, his one bald spot on display and looking her in the eye instead of the warden himself. Maybe all jail wardens were cyclops, who knows? Jane shakes away her inappropriate thoughts as the warden begins to speak. 

“The judge that sentenced you seems to have changed their mind, reducing your 6 to 10 years to 3 to 4 years instead. And, because you haven’t been reprimanded or gotten any strikes since you’ve been here, that qualifies you for early release due to good behavior, effective immediately.”

He slams a stamp down on the paper he had been scribbling on, then turns it around and slides it across the desk towards Jane. She looks down, does a double take before she can actually read what it says. Even still, her brain can’t accept the words in front of her. 

“This says I’m being released,” she says, dumbly.

“That is correct.”

“But...I--”

“Look, you’ve got some very persuasive friends on the outside, but if you don’t sign that paper and get out of my office, you’ll never get the opportunity to leave again. Clear?”

Jane nods and quickly scribbles her name on the line before sliding the paper back in the warden’s direction. 

“Nice knowing you, Rizzoli,” he mutters, placing her paper in a filing cabinet behind him. 

As she murmurs her thanks and turns to leave, excitement and adrenaline starts to pulse in her skin, her heart leaps into her throat. After three long years, she’s finally free. She’s not sure whether to laugh or cry, but as she packs up her things, she notices she’s doing a weird combination of both. She laughs even more as she realizes that Maura actually did it, she actually got her out of her sentence. Maura is a genius.

_ Maura _ .

All at once she remembers her other promise, and her joy is replaced with worry. What if they didn’t tell Maura they were letting Jane go today? How would Jane find her?

  
She turns to one of the guards standing outside her cubicle. Each one of them is looking in every direction but hers, as if trying to give her the privacy she needs without actually leaving her alone. 

“Excuse me, will I be able to call someone for a ride?” she asks. 

The guard shakes his head. “No need, someone is already here.”

Her heart stops for a brief moment it seems and jumpstarts again, but in a faster pace than before. She picks up her things and moves towards the exit, towards the hallway, not caring if her guards are following behind her or not. Maura is here for her, she has to see her, thank her, love her…

She’s almost sprinting down that hallway, the one she hasn’t seen in three years, and the light at the end reminds her of heaven. 

As she nears the gate and metal detector, she sees her. Her hair is perfect as always, falling in soft blonde waves over her shoulders. Her dark grey pencil skirt just reaches her knees, which are crossed properly as she sits, staring out the window in gentle concentration. Her cream colored tank top shows off her muscular biceps and Jane suddenly feels the urge to kiss them. She’s wearing three inch heels to complete the look, and Jane thinks,  _ Holy shit, she is so out of my league _ .

When Maura turns her head, however, she realizes that thought may not have stayed completely within the confines of her head. So, she says it again, for good measure. 

“Holy shit, Maura.”

Maura is just barely up on her feet when Jane runs to her and lifts her up in her arms, finally hers again. Maura giggles in her ear, and it’s the best sound in the world, so Jane squeezes her tighter as her beautiful laugh calms her. She feels Maura’s fingers in her hair, scratching gently against her scalp and she never want to let Maura go again. 

“You, ah, must be Jane,” a voice says next to her. 

She had been so captured by Maura’s beauty that she hadn’t even noticed the woman sitting next to her. She gently lowers Maura to the floor and reaches out a hand to shake. As Constance takes her hand, she feels Maura bury her face in Jane’s neck and wrap her arms around her waist. Her heart is so heavy with love for this perfect being and she hopes that Maura clings to her like this forever. Constance shakes her hand. 

“Yes, that’s me, sorry,” she says with a chuckle.

“That’s alright. I’m Constance Isles, Maura has been on the verge of a heart attack all day,” she replies. 

“I missed you,” Maura murmurs in Jane’s ear.

“I missed you, too, but that’s no reason to forget our manners!” she says, as if scandalized by Maura’s behavior and lack of introductions. 

Constance just chuckles and picks up Jane’s things that she dropped on the floor in her hasty arrival. 

“Maura, are you going to sit in my lap like this in the car?” Jane jokes, but squeezes her. She really has missed her. 

Maura just nods. 

“Are you crying?”

Maura hesitates slightly before nodding again. Jane kisses her hair, the feel of Maura’s body against hers like a soothing balm on her heart.

“It’s only been a month,” Jane says, as if it wasn’t the longest month of her life. 

As if reading her thoughts, Maura says, “Too long.”

Constance clears her throat slightly before patting her daughter gently on the back. 

“Come on, darling, let’s get Jane home,” she encourages, softly.

As if roused from sleep by her mother, Maura finally pulls away and wipes at the tear tracks on her face. She’s just as beautiful as ever, and Jane can see that her stomach has gotten bigger since she last saw her. She’s surprised Maura isn’t wearing more comfortable clothes, and how the hell is she not falling over with pain in those heels?

“Whoa, where did this come from?” Jane gasps.

Maura laughs again and covers her face with her hands. 

“I was totally right, everything looks good on you, including a baby bump,” Jane compliments her with a soft smile.

Maura moves her hands from her face to her stomach. She seems to be at a loss for words and can only stare at Jane with her wide, gorgeous, hazel eyes. She opens her mouth as if to speak, but nothing comes out. She shakes her head before smiling widely, then takes Jane’s hand as they follow Constance to the car. 

*********

The car ride is not long enough to prepare Jane for what she sees. The car is clearly expensive and Maura realizes that she may have accidentally misled Jane about how much money her family actually has. 

Jane had gaped at her mother’s large house, gasped at the size of the kitchen, and silently panicked over the food laid out on the dining room table. Maura had watched Jane struggle through deciding which fork she was supposed to use, trying not to laugh, before Constance finally assured her that it didn’t matter. On the drive over to their apartment, Maura had fallen asleep on Jane’s shoulder as she sat stiffly, as if she would destroy the car just by breathing. 

However, it’s the apartment that finally gets her to speak her mind. 

Jane is standing in the middle of the living room, Constance had finally left them alone for the night, when Maura wraps her arms around Jane from behind. She presses her face into Jane’s shoulder blades as Jane sighs. 

“I can’t afford this, Maura. This is nicer than the house I lived in when I was a kid.”

“You don’t have to afford it, honey, it’s a gift,” Maura says, caressing her hips.

“How expensive is this gift anyway? It’s got like, what, 16 bedrooms?” she jokes.

Maura can tell by her joking that Jane is uncomfortable, so she presses a kiss to her back, hoping to calm her.

“It’s two bedrooms. One for us, one for the baby.”

“For a second I thought you meant one for each of us.”

“Well, I wouldn’t put it past my mother, but no,” Maura chuckles. 

Jane pauses briefly before asking, “Is the baby’s room all set up?”

“Mmhm.”

“Can I see it?”

“Of course.”

Maura grabs her hand, tangling their fingers together and leads her down the small hallway. She can feel Jane’s eyes on her hips as she walks and a rush of heat spreads to her center. She smiles shyly at Jane over her shoulder, noticing the lustful look in Jane’s eyes, before opening the door to the nursery. 

The room is simple, a pale yellow with furniture made of light colored wood. Yellow sheets on the crib match the cushion in the rocking chair and the walls. 

Maura watches as Jane takes it all in and grabs Jane’s other hand to wrap her arms around her stomach. Their position is the same as before, but now Jane’s front is to Maura’s back. They never really had the opportunity before to stand like this, but Maura finds it comforting as she feels Jane’s heartbeat against her back. Jane slides her hands under Maura’s shirt and onto her stomach, and she shivers as Jane presses harder into her back. 

“So? What do you think?” she asks. 

“Bright, cheerful, lovely,” Jane lists, pressing a kiss to her cheek, “Just like you.”

Maura cants her hips backwards into Jane’s pelvis as her arms tighten and her hands start to roam. 

“I want to thank you for getting me out of there,” Jane whispers in her ear. 

“You’re welcome,” Maura breathes.

Jane chuckles as her hands start rucking up Maura’s tight skirt.

“That’s not what I meant.”

Maura’s breath hitches as she feels her underwear become slightly damp. She grabs one of Jane’s hands and guides it to one of her breasts. 

“You mean...you want to see our room?” she says, grinning.

“Mmhm,” Jane murmurs as her teeth nip at her neck.

“That can be arranged.”

“Then lead the way, chatterbox,” Jane chuckles. 

*********

The alarm blares loudly and for a minute Jane thinks she’s back in prison. It’s only when she feels Maura’s warm body shift in the bed that she remembers where she is. The last month has flown by, filled with long afternoons together on the couch and brunches with Constance. Maura has been going to classes and studying hard. So hard, in fact, that a few times Jane had to tackle her on the couch just to convince her to eat and relax. Maura never seems to mind, especially when it turns into a makeout session. 

She feels Maura press a kiss to her exposed cheek, the rest of her face smashed into a pillow. This is their new routine. Maura wakes earlier than the sun, gets ready for the day and leaves all while Jane sleeps in. Then, Jane makes her way over to the Isles Foundation corporate office where Constance had given her a receptionist job. It’s nothing fancy, but it keeps her parole officer happy. 

Jane lifts her head from her comfy pillow and searches for Maura’s lips with her own, sleepy eyes still closed. Maura kisses her and laughs. 

“You’re awake,” she exclaims, quietly.

“Mhmm,” Jane kisses her again. 

“Does this mean you’re going to eat breakfast with me for once?”

“Mhmm,” Jane grins, “And maybe a shower?”

Maura looks pleasantly surprised. “Of course. You’re in a good mood this morning! Are you sure you’re my Jane?”

Jane sits up and rubs one hand against Maura’s protruding belly, her shirt riding up just enough to show her belly button, and Maura bites her lip at the feeling of Jane’s long fingers on her skin. 

“I’m just...happy I’m here and not there, you know?”

Maura’s face turns sober as she nods, but it’s quickly replaced with a smile. 

They hop into the shower together, standing close as if the shower isn’t big enough for the both of them, which it is. They work efficiently together, trading soaps and shampoos back and forth, reaching places the other can’t and occasionally kissing chastely on the lips. 

Maura is washing her face, facing away from Jane when she finally speaks over the water. 

“Can I ask you something?”

Jane chuckles as she shaves a strip of skin on her leg. “You don’t have to ask, babe.”

“Why haven’t you seen your mother since you’ve been out?”

“I haven’t really had time,” Jane says, but the pause is long enough to convince Maura she is lying. 

Maura turns back around to face her, but Jane has her back to her as she shaves and Maura has to resist the urge to reach out and grab her ass.

“You never really talk about her Jane. The only time you’ve ever mentioned her is when you were telling me about Tommy, and you gave me the impression that she isn’t someone to stay away when her daughter is fresh out of jail.”

“What’s your point, Maura?” Jane asks, clearly frustrated.

“I was just wondering if maybe something happened.”

“Nothing happened, I just…” Jane sighs, “I haven’t talked to her in a while.”

Maura thinks she already knows the answer, but she asks anyway. “How long?”

When Jane doesn’t answer, she knows her prediction is correct. Jane hasn’t contacted or spoken to her mother since she’s been in jail, which is three, almost four, years. What she can’t seem to understand is why. She reaches out gently and rubs circles on Jane’s back.

“I think you should call her,” Maura suggests softly. 

Jane scoffs. “I know she’s not gonna wanna talk to me.”

“Well, you should at least let her know you are out and safe. Then, if she doesn’t want to talk to you, then she doesn’t want to talk to you,” Maura says, and her voice is so gentle. 

Jane almost feels bad for being a little angry. She knows Maura is just trying to help, but she doesn’t really feel like talking about this. Her life is perfect, what’s the point of bringing in the misery of being disowned? So, when she says “I’ll think about it”, she really just wants to let it go and never think about it again. However, she does think about it, for the rest of the morning, sitting quietly at the table as Maura keeps glancing at her worriedly. When Maura leaves, pressing a kiss to Jane’s temple, she hopes Jane feels all of her love and that it is enough if her mother decides to never speak to her again. 

*********

She’s in the middle of a phone call when Constance walks into the office. It’s nearing four o’clock and normally she doesn’t come in if it’s past that time, so Jane hurries through the call to speak to her. 

“Hey, what are you doing here?” she asks.

“Actually, I’m here to steal you, Jane, I need your help with something,” she says, and she lowers her voice as if they were conspiring and didn’t want anyone to hear. 

“Uh, okay, with what--”

“Don’t ask questions, let’s just go,” she says, but there is a smile on her words. 

Jane laughs and gets up from her desk. “Okay.”

They head out to various different party stores, and it doesn’t take long for Jane to realize Constance is throwing a baby shower for Maura. She holds up different things for Jane’s approval, and that’s basically how the next hour goes, occasionally talking. 

“So, Jane, how is your family? I always forget to ask, I’m sorry.”

“Nah, that’s okay, um… I think they are doing good,” Jane says. 

“Your mother must be ecstatic that you are free,” Constance says, and holds up a banner for Jane to see. “Too much?”

“Ew, yes,” Jane says, then continues, “I, uh, actually haven’t talked to her.”

“Oh, why’s that?”

Jane shrugs. “I don’t know. Maura thinks I should call her...what do you think?”

“Oh, absolutely. She’s probably worried about you, Jane,” Constance says, and points to a different banner and says, “What about that one?”

“Yeah, I like that one,” Jane breathes heavily, “Do you think she’ll be upset with me?”

“That you haven’t talked to her? Yes. That you got arrested? I’m sure she’ll get over that.”

“Were you upset when Maura got arrested?”

Constance huffs. “Of course! But I was even more upset that she felt like she couldn’t come to me to help her. I know my child and I knew she shouldn’t have been arrested in the first place Just like you shouldn’t have either.”

“How do you…?”

“Maura told me what you told her, and if you told your mother the same thing, she would understand.”

“I don’t know,” Jane says, walking deeper into the aisle, “My Ma… she always expected me to be the example because I was the oldest. She’ll probably say it’s my fault if one of my brothers suddenly thinks going to jail might be cool.”

“Well, then if you’re there to tell them it’s not, then she can’t say anything, can she?”

Jane chuckles. “No, I guess not.”

“Now, should we get balloons, or is that too much?”

“Mmm, balloons are fun for birthday parties, not baby showers.”

“Got it.”

Constance’s cell phone starts ringing and they stop in the aisle as she rummages in her purse for it. 

“Oh, it’s Maura,” Constance says, smiling, and puts the phone to her ear, “Hello, darling.”

Jane looks at the different items hanging up. There are a whole bunch strollers, prams, baby bottles and teddy bears in pale pastel colors. Jane isn’t sure if she likes the aesthetic or not. 

“Darling, take a breath, she’s right here with me.”

Jane turns her head and COnstance has a sympathetic, and anguished look on her face, as if she were upset.

“Jane and I have been bonding and catching up, she didn’t want to check her phone and be rude…”

Jane pulls her phone out of her pocket. It had been on silent from work, and she has almost 30 missed calls from Maura and just as many texts.

\--Heading home. Missed you <3

\--My mom must be working you hard if I beat you home. Be safe, my love <3

\--Jane, where are you? I drove to the office and they said they had closed an hour ago. Please call me.

\--Are you okay? Are you upset with me? I’m sorry about this morning, I love you. 

The messages get even more frantic from there and Jane feels like such an asshole.

“I should probably get you home,” Constance says, haltingly. 

“How upset is she?”

“Well, she didn’t want to speak to you when I offered, and then she hung up on me,” Constance says, and makes a slightly scared face.

“Shit,” Jane mutters.

They pay for the decorations and drive back to Jane’s apartment in silence. 

“Please let her know I will be calling her later,” Constance says as Jane gets out of the car. 

“Will do. Thanks for today,” Jane says with a small smile.

“You’re welcome, Jane.”

When she enters the apartment, it’s eerily quiet and Jane wonders if Maura left on a rampage.

“Maura?” she calls softly, but it sounds so loud in the silence. 

She finally sees Maura standing in the doorway of the nursery looking at her sadly with a look of guilt mixed together on her face. There are clearly tear tracks on her cheeks and Jane’s heart aches in her chest. 

“Are you okay?”

Slowly she shakes her head and her face scrunches up as she lets out a small sob. It only takes two quick strides for Jane to wrap her up in her arms, feeling so disappointed in herself for upsetting this beautiful person. 

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” Maura sobs.

“I’m sorry, I should have checked my phone,” Jane coos. 

Maura nods silently against her shoulder as she squeezes her as tightly as her stomach will allow her.

“I’m sorry I scared you, I’ll try not to let it happen again,” Jane promises.

“I thought… maybe you were in an alley somewhere like… like…”

“Shh, I know, but I’m okay, baby, I’m okay, I’m right here.”

*********

She waits until Maura is asleep in their bed before she makes her final decision. Maura is even more angelic when she’s asleep that sometime Jane has a hard time getting there herself. She just can’t stop looking at her sometimes. She takes her cell phone out into the dark living room and turns on a lamp. She stares at her phone, the number already typed in. She triple checks each digit, making sure it’s correct, before taking a deep breath and pressing send. 

She holds her breath as it rings, her world slowing down slightly. She feels like she might die of asphyxiation. She picks up on the second ring, and it’s her voice, Jane has missed it, but she’s not sure what to do now that she’s living and breathing on the other side of the phone line. 

“Hello?”

She takes a breath holds it for 5 seconds. Too long. 

“Hello??”

Finally, she speaks. 

“...Ma?”

There is a pause.

“Janie?”

“Yeah, Ma,” she chokes out.

“Janie! Where the hell have you been? You get ARRESTED and not ONE CALL explaining WHY?!”

“I’m sorry, Ma.”

“You should be sorry! Even if you had done it, you still should have called me!! It’s been three years, Jane Clementine Rizzoli!”

“Wait, what? What do you mean even if--”

“Tommy told me everything a few months after your trial. Honestly, Jane? You didn’t think I would believe you if you told me yourself?”

Jane is trying to hold back tears. “I’m sorry, Ma.”

“You should be! How long have you been out, because I know this isn’t a jail number.”

Jane pauses because she knows how Angela will react. “A month.”

She moves the phone away from her ear just in time to protect her eardrum from rupturing. 

“A MONTH?! Where the hell are you, I’m coming to get you, right now!”

“Ma, trust me, I’m fine. Look, I’ll come over this weekend and explain everything, but right now I need to go.”

“Okay, but you better not be getting into anything shady, young lady, don’t think I won’t come to that jail and hurt you if you get arrested again!”

“Okay, got it.”

“I mean it, Jane!”

“Yes, Ma! I know!”

Jane had missed this, missed her, without even realizing it. In the past, this fight with her mother would have been something she dreaded, but after years of not hearing Angela’s shrill voice, Jane wonders how she ever survived that long without it. This was their routine, yelling back and forth at each other not out of anger, but out of love. 

Angela pauses and Jane is caught up in her thoughts that she suddenly wonders if Angela hung up. She’s about to call her name when Angela speaks again, and her voice sounds like she’s holding back a sob.

“I’m glad you’re safe, Janie.”

Jane blinks and a single, hot tear falls down her cheek. She’s disappointed in herself for not calling sooner, but she’s glad she finally did. 

“I love you, Ma.”

“I love you, too, Jane.”

And before either of them can start sobbing uncontrollably, she hangs up the phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all ready for this next chapter? I think you all will like it, thanks for sticking with this story! onto the end!!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is why I changed the rating to explicit. There is a scene of a sexual nature, so I figured I would tell you now if that's something that bothers you. It's not too bad, but it's there. Get ready for this ending guys, I'm super proud of it. Enjoy :)

***8 Years Later***

 

Maura is picking up Connor, her son, from her mother’s when she receives the first phone call. She is already late, supposed to be there thirty minutes ago, and pulling into the driveway when her phone rings. She looks down, the number labelled as “Unknown”, and ignores it as she turns off the car engine. She isn’t entirely sure who would be calling her, but since it isn’t her wife, her son, or her mother, she doesn’t particularly care that she left it unanswered. If it was important, they will leave a message. She exits the car, already forgetting that it happened in favor of greeting her family.

 

She makes her way up the steps quickly, almost tripping over her heels as she pushes through her mother’s giant doorway. She had dropped Connor off this morning because Constance had asked, but normally Connor would just go with her to work during the summer months. At the time she had been relieved, but now she wishes that she had taken him anyway so that she could already be at home relaxing on the sofa. She kicks her shoes off into the shoe mat by the door, but keeps her coat on, hoping this will imply that she doesn’t intend to stay long.

 

“Maura, darling?” Constance calls.

 

“Mommy?” a little voice echos, excitedly.

 

“Hey, sorry I’m late,” she says, making her way to the kitchen in the back.

 

She hears her son’s little feet slap against the hardwood before she sees him come to greet her. Every day she is bawled over by his beauty and today is no different as he rounds the corner, his blue eyes shining happily. She can barely pick him up from the floor anymore, he’s getting so big, but she does anyway, grunting loudly as she puts him on her hip.

 

“You’re too big,” she murmurs as she presses her nose into his blonde hair.

 

“You’re just old,” he says, giggling. They always joke about her age, him and Jane.

 

“Old?? How dare you, your Mama is older than me,” she fake gasps as if offended, but she’s not.

 

“No, I’m not, Maura, stop lying to my son!” a new voice calls out from the kitchen. Maura would recognize that voice anywhere but...it can’t be.

 

“Jane?”

 

She rounds the corner as she hears her wife’s voice. Jane had quickly moved up the ranks in the Isles Foundation, suddenly becoming more than just a receptionist. She had recently been gone for a few months running errands for Constance in Europe, who explained the trip as a “much needed vacation” for Jane. The last time she spoke to Jane, two days ago, she had said she wasn’t sure when she was coming home. She cannot completely believe what she’s hearing or seeing, thinking she’s having a whole body hallucination from lack of sleep.

 

She’s just as beautiful as ever, more tan than usual, her long hair wild around her shoulders.

 

“Hi, babe,” she says, grinning.

 

“Jane!” Maura gasps.

 

She latches onto Jane, hugging her, and accidentally squishing Connor between them, who protests with an indignant “Mom!” in response. Jane just laughs and wraps both of them up with her long arms. It has been way too long and Jane had missed her little family, vacation be damned. In the two seconds before Maura had attacked her, Jane had been able to take in every detail of Maura to make sure she was okay. There are slight bags under her eyes, but the outfit is so put together that she barely even notices. She looks just as delicious as ever.

 

“Do you look extra sexy today, or is that just my imagination?” Jane whispers in her ear.

 

“I heard that,” Connor says.

 

“I can’t believe you’re here,” Maura says, and kisses Jane’s cheek.

 

"Me neither! Those flights over the Atlantic are horrible, I almost didn’t come back just to avoid it!” she says, chuckling, “But now that I’ve seen you, it was totally worth it.”

 

Jane reaches down subtly and grabs her ass and Maura wonders how she could be so bold as to make a move on her with both of their mothers standing not ten feet away. Maura swats her on the arm. “Stop it.”

 

She turns away from Jane, looking between Constance, Angela, and her son suspiciously.

 

“Did you three know about this?” she asks.

 

Connor shakes his head while Constance gives her a sheepish smile and Angela avoids her gaze all together.

 

“Why do you think I offered to take him today?”

 

“Well, I thought you wanted to give me a break and spend time with your grandson,” Maura says.

 

“Hm, sarcasm does not look good on you, dear,” Constance tuts gently.

 

Jane and Angela laugh and Jane kisses Maura’s temple while ruffling Connor’s hair. She looks him over too, still sweet and cute as ever, before squinting her eyes and turning back to Maura.

 

“Maura, why does my son look like he’s about to go to Sunday School?”

 

Maura chuckles. “He picked that outfit out all by himself this morning.”

 

“Oh no, he’s a mini you!” Jane groans.

 

“No, I’m not, Mama,” he says, quickly defending himself.

 

“Hey, why is that a bad thing?” Maura protests.

 

“Because he needs to be a kid, not a forty year old woman,” Jane says.

 

“First of all, you know very well that neither of us are forty. And, also, I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear you just say that because you just got home and I would prefer that you slept in bed with me tonight instead of the couch.”

 

“Babe, come on, you know I’m kidding.”

 

“Take _your_ son into the living room and go watch whatever sports game is on before I start crying,” Maura jokes, moving to hand Connor over to Jane.

 

At her words, however, he clings to Maura a little, not want to go to Jane all of a sudden.

 

“Don’t cry, Mommy, I didn’t mean it, I want to be just like you cuz I love you,” he says, clearly not seeing that she was joking. He sounds so guilty and her heart melts a little.

 

“I know, handsome, I love you, too,” she says, kissing him on the cheek, and finally he reluctantly goes to Jane. She heads off to the living room, throwing Connor over her shoulder like a fireman and shouting “TO BASEBAAALLLL” as Connor laughs. Maura has really missed this, it hasn’t been the same with Jane gone, and she really loves her little family.

 

“Oooo, you’ve got them wrapped around your finger,” Angela says.

 

From the other room, Jane yells, “I heard that, Ma!”

 

The three women chuckle and start taking their positions around the kitchen to finish preparing dinner.

*********

Jane is two fingers deep inside Maura, and very obviously leaving a hickey on Maura’s chest when her phone rings again.

 

“Ignore it,” Jane mumbles against her breast.

 

The pleasure is so good that Maura almost can’t speak. “What if it’s my mother?”

 

Jane disconnects from Maura’s chest with a pop and leans over to check her phone, all while still thrusting into Maura. She looks briefly at the screen and goes back to what she was doing before.

 

“It’s not.”

 

“Who was it?” Maura says, her sentence punctuated by a gasp at the curl of Jane’s fingers.

 

“Unknown name,” Jane says, kissing down to Maura’s thighs, “Unknown number.”

 

Maura tangles her hand in Jane’s hair as she moves her mouth towards her center. Three long swipes of her tongue against her is all she needed. She cries out softly, trying to keep quiet for Connor’s sake, as she comes undone.

 

“God, I missed that,” Jane sighs, putting her chin on Maura’s stomach.

 

“Mmm, me too,” she says, rubbing her thumb over Jane’s cheek.

 

“You can check your phone now,” Jane smirks.

 

“I don’t want to,” Maura replies.

 

“Good answer,” Jane says and kisses up her body before kissing her lips. Jane tastes just as wonderful as the first day they took that leap forward. Eight wonderful years later, they still can’t keep their hands off each other.

 

“How did you possibly survive without me?”

 

“Lots of work and masturbation.”

 

“Oh, ew,” Jane says, and Maura just laughs, “You didn’t have to say the “M” word, you could have just… showed me.”

 

“Not tonight,” Maura sighs, “I’m exhausted.”

 

“How was your day, honey?” Jane jokes, emphasizing the pet name.

 

“It was okay, I just had a very long night,” Maura says.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s alright,” she responds, smiling, “I’m just glad you’re back.”

 

Maura’s phone buzzes again and she groans as Jane picks it up and hands it to her. Maura holds the phone above her face as Jane comes to lay beside her, her chin on her shoulder.

 

“They left a voicemail… fuck it, I don’t care. I’m going to sleep,” Maura mutters, before sliding her phone back on the nightstand.

 

“Did you just say ‘Fuck it’?”

 

“Mmhm,” she rolls onto her side.

 

“God, you get hotter and hotter every day,” she laughs as Maura elbows her gently.

 

She spoons into Maura’s back and she is glad to be home again, cuddled up to her beautiful wife.

*********

She doesn’t listen to the two voicemails until the next morning as she is making breakfast for herself and Connor. He is a beautiful little boy, much more like herself than Maura ever expected. Though he looks nothing like the Connor she knew all those years ago, he acts almost exactly like he did when he felt safe and was free to be himself when Jack was gone. She hopes that this is Connor’s second chance at life, although she would never tell Jane that for fear of being ridiculed. When one spends most of their life insisting that there isn’t enough scientific evidence of a God to completely believe in them, one does not readily tell their spouse they might believe in reincarnation with the same lack of evidence.

 

She remembers the voicemails when she’s taking a sip of her coffee, and thinks that she should probably listen and respond to them, if they are important. She picks up her phone, clicks on the icon and puts the phone to her ear.

 

“Who are you calling, Mommy? Is it Nona?” Connor asks.

 

“No, I’m just checking my voicemail, honey,” she says, and enters her code.

 

The voice that follows the automated one is a voice she would never forget in her life, and a horrible chill runs down her spine. She had just taken another sip of coffee and it takes everything in her not to choke on it in surprise and fear. She doesn’t need him to say his name to know who it is.

 

“Maura… it’s Jack… your boyfriend.”

 

She feels herself pause, then quickly schools her features into a neutral expression before Connor can ask her any questions. She can’t tell if his voice sounds drunk or if he’s trying to sound sad, but there is no doubt in her mind that he’s trying to earn her sympathy.

 

“I want to talk to you… I’ve changed. Please, Maura, I love you, call me back.”

 

The next message isn’t as sweet.

 

“It’s Jack, again. I don’t know what you’re doing, ignoring my calls, but you better not be fucking someone else when I am sitting here, waiting for you, like the good boyfriend that I am. Call me, we need to talk.”

 

The message ends just as abruptly as it started, and Maura gets the feeling that she is being watched. That he was watching her last night when he left this message, when she and Jane were… and she feels so violated. At the same time, she’s fucking angry. How dare he run away, avoid facing what he did for eight years, and then come back just to ruin Maura’s perfect life. She thinks she should talk to Jane about this...but it’s never been her fight and Maura wants to keep it that way. She watches Connor across the table, her sweet son, happily reading his school book while munching on the Fruit Loops Jane insisted on buying. She refuses to let Jack bully her and take over her life.

 

\--Meet me in Hyde Park, 3 am, top of the hiking trail.

 

Maura is shocked that it only takes him seconds to reply.

 

\--Bring beer.

*********

Normally, Jane is a very light sleeper, but Maura had thoroughly exhausted her this night that she doesn’t even move when Maura leaves their bed. She grabs the 6 pack of beer that she purchased earlier in the day and walks out to her car, not even caring that her hair is getting soaked by the rain. The claps of thunder and flashes of light don’t phase her as she drives to their agreed upon location. She tries hard not to see the parallels between tonight and the last day she saw him, ignores the fact that the weather is exactly the same as it was eight years ago. For the first time in years, Maura wonders if she may go into a flashback again, but concentrates on the feelings around her to keep her grounded so it doesn’t happen. It only took her many many years of therapy to perfect her defense.

 

The walk to the top of the trail is only twenty minutes, but Maura jogs practically the whole way, knowing Jane could wake up at any minute and wonder where she is, and that thought alone motivates her to keep jogging when her legs feel like they are on fire. The top of the trail has a short guard rail, but everywhere beyond it is a beautiful view of Massachusetts. She can see Boston glittering off to the side, beautiful as any city could possibly be. He is already standing there, leaning against the guard rail when she approaches, blocking the view.

 

He looks years older than the last time she saw him. If she had just been a random stranger, passing him on the street, she would assume that he was a forty year old man when he is barely older than Jane. With the rain, he looks like he’s been sleeping under a bridge for the last eight years, but something tells her he would look just as horrible without being soaked. She hopes he really did sleep under a bridge for eight years, he deserves even less than that. He really wasn’t even that attractive, Maura realizes, and she wonders how she could have made such a huge mistake in taking comfort in him. Loneliness can make you do stupid things.

 

“Well, if it isn’t Maura Isles. It’s great to see you, Miss Isles… or is it Rizzoli, now?” he says, and his voice disgusts her. He has definitely been drinking.

 

“That’s no concern of yours.”

 

“I’m just curious what your son’s last name is… since you stole his first name from my son.”

 

“The son you told me you didn’t want? Please, spare me the pretense that you actually cared about him.”

 

He looks her over as he pauses, admiring her body in the tight little yoga pants and BPD sweatshirt. Even completely soaked and looking like a drowned rat, she is attractive. He thinks about commenting on her sweatshirt, about how ironic it is, when he sees the beers in Maura’s hand.

 

“Those for me?” he asks.

 

She hands him one and he downs the entire thing in 5 seconds flat as she looks on in disgust.

 

“I don’t know why you asked me to bring these when you’re always drunk anyway.”

 

He pauses, smacking his lips together and squinting at her.

 

“Have you always been a bitch?”

 

“Only when I’m with you.”

 

He laughs, thinking she’s joking, and takes a step forward.

 

“God, I’ve missed you,” he says, and it’s the same thing Jane said to her multiple times the other night, but the words make her want to puke now.

 

She takes a step back and says, “Don’t come near me.”

 

“Why did you even come, then?”

 

Maura shakes her head as if she can’t believe she’s hearing this. And she actually can’t. She can’t believe that this stupid man still thinks what he did was okay, and that she wants to be with him.

 

“You attacked me in an alley with a knife because I wanted to leave you, and then you killed your own son! You really think I want to be with you? You’re delusional.”

 

“I didn’t kill him--”

 

“Yes you did!”

 

“It’s not my fault he wanted to defend you--”

 

“You had plenty of time--”

 

“It’s YOUR FAULT, not mine! I didn’t mean to kill him, he got in the way when I was going after you!”

 

She scoffs and they are both shouting now, over the rain, over each other.

 

“Don’t you dare try to blame this all on me! You had plenty of time between him begging you to stop and when you told him to move to not stab him, it’s not like he fell on you! That was _your_ decision, it was all you! I know it was my fault too, but I wasn’t the one who overreacted.”

 

“Well, if you hadn’t--”

 

He stops abruptly as a feeling of lightheadedness over takes him. It feels like being at the bad end of drunk, the kind of drunk you know is going to hurt tomorrow. He looks down at the beer bottle in his hand. It’s one he has had countless times, his favorite, in fact, and he has never felt this way before.

 

“What did you give me?” he asks Maura.

 

“You wanted alcohol, I gave you alcohol, just like you asked.”

 

“You put something in this.”

 

“Yes, I did.”

 

He looks so shocked. “What the fuck did you give me, Maura?”

 

“I just added vodka to your beer,” she says.

 

He can feel his heart start to slow down in his chest and he feels like vomiting, while at the same time he thinks he will wet himself. Vodka doesn’t do that to you, he thinks.

 

“And a little bit of monkshood,” she says. Her face is completely blank, no sympathy at all for the man she dated for almost nine months. A murdering abuser. She steps closer to him and he takes an involuntary step back.

 

“Maura…”

 

“You don’t deserve to be living, just like you didn’t deserve that innocent little boy as your son,” she spits, “I did my time. You have no idea what it was like to be in there, singled out as a child killer, bullied every day for something you didn’t do but still had a hand in. I paid for the little part I had in his death. And if you won’t face your responsibility as his parent and his tormentor, then there is no other option for you.”

 

He feels his legs hit the guard rail and he stops, but she keeps coming. His vision is starting to turn black and he can’t feel his limbs at all. Never in his life did he think he would be scared of little Maura Isles, the girl he comforted as she cried, alone, on a bus bench.

 

“M…” is all that can escape his half dead lips.

 

“I won’t let you hurt anyone else. This is for Connor,” she whispers, and he can seen tears running down her cheeks.

 

She gives him the gentlest push and he falls backwards over the rail and down the cliff. As his back snaps at the bottom, it’s the last thing his body needs to give up, Maura turns away from the dead man and heads back home to her family.

*********  
Jane feels the bed shift, feels Maura’s damp skin and hair as she lays one thigh across Jane’s legs and lays her head on her chest. Jane reaches for her thigh and her hand comes back slick.

 

“You’re wet,” she murmurs sleepily.

 

“I went for a run.”

 

“Is it raining?”

 

“Mmhm, pretty hard.”

 

Jane strains the muscles in her eye to crack one of them open, but it’s so heavy that it’s almost painful. “I’m sure I could warm you up.”

 

She means to be seductive, but she’s half asleep so it comes out...half seductive. Maura laughs lightly and bites her lip.

 

“Maybe in the morning.”

 

“Is it not morning?”

 

“Go back to sleep, Jane.”

 

“Can do. Love you.”

 

“I love you,” Maura replies.

 

She cuddles up to Jane, tracing her fingers along her ribcage, reveling in Jane’s soft skin. In the morning, the police will find Jack’s body, broken, at the bottom of that cliff with a considerable amount of alcohol and an undetectable poison in his system. They will think he was just another homeless man who slipped after drinking too much, an unfortunate accident. She will kiss Jane and Connor goodbye as she goes into work to save twenty lives to make up for the one she took.

 

And finally, after all these years, Maura feels that all is right in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank all of you for the response I got to this fic. When I started it, I didn't really have much of an idea. I was just sitting in class and I was like "I can totally see Maura as being a juvenile offender and ending up in a woman's prison and then Jane protects her the entire time", but I never really had a solid story until a few weeks before I posted the first chapter on here. Also, didn't really have a solid ending until I was in the middle of writing chapter 8 and I was like oh...I have to do it. For a minute I also thought about writing in the end that Maura actually did do it, but that's really not who Maura is, or who we want her to be, ya know? So, I'm sorry if some of you came here for Dark!Maura and were severely disappointed. Anyway, thank you all so much for reading and leaving comments and stuff! Please follow me on tumblr at lostlastsforever756 if you want, or on twitter at itlastsforever4, where you can see me only tweet like once a month when something annoys me lol. I'm currently working on another rizzles fic, but it will be a long while before I post that because it requires me to rewatch each episode in detail, but I feel like we need it. Or I need it, at least hehe. Thanks again for reading!!!


End file.
